Where's the Symptoms? I found the symptoms.

I have never, in my entire six months of testing dropped below the 50s. And when I do drop into the 50s you can tell from a mile away. Which is why tonight was weird. I had been hanging in the 70s and 80s all night which isn't bad I was quite happy. I tested right before I went out on the field for our last performance at a game this year and I was 70. I ate my first glucose tab ever (it tasted and smelt like soap) and was on my way. 10 minutes later I could tell I was just kinda off. So I tested again. I was still 70. I had another glucose tab and continued on my way. All the symptoms were slowly disappearing as time went on until it was like I was back to my normal self. Tonight we were performing twice though so we had to go get ready. I retested after 15 minutes and was taken back by the two numbers that flashed across the screen. 48. I couldn't figure it out. Besides the shaking from the cold I felt okayish. I still had the headache that lasts forever after I correct a low, but I was fine. I didn't perform a second time for fear I could hurt myself, But I did think of the aforementioned youtube song where's the chap stick... although I changed the words in my head to where's the symptoms.
Keep your head up and your chap stick close,
Ellie <3

Feelin Swingy

Every night during the winter I go out on the swings and just swing for like 30-45 minutes. It's one of the ways I clear my head. It's the greatest feeling in the world being able to just sit there and not think about the things that everyone is asking. It's nice for once in my day to not be asked what my number is, how many glucose tabs I've taken for that low, or how many juice boxes I've drank. It's not about my D in chemistry, or my unexcused absence I need to fix, it's none of that. It's purely me being myself alone. I don't have to answer to anyone or worry. I just swing. And to me that's the greatest feeling in the world. So I ask as you finish out this week to think about your moments of peacefulness. Find time to clear your head because I'm telling you from experience, it helps a lot. Have an amazing rest of the week!

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34

Keep your head up and the swings swingy,
Ellie <3

A look On The Bright Side

     I blame my friends.  They have to many friends they need to go hug in the morning. We have this little circle thing that we all stand in before the first bell. There is always something going on. This morning I was more tired than usual. As people started showing up the noise level began to grow. I just wanted to go back to bed. When my friend came over I leaned my head on her shoulder hoping maybe if I could just rest my eyes I could be a little more awake when it comes to first period. Nope. They are so loud I couldn't concentrate on not concentrating. I did what every other non morning person would do. Cram sugar down their thought. It help for about an hour and then the low kicked in. Is there ever a day when I can just "be awake" without any strings attached?? Goodness. It wasn't a bad low it was a 75, but it still left me tired yet again. So as Garfield put it... At least Monday's only roll around once a week. :D 

Keep your head up and the coffee coming,

Ellie <3 

Minor Details...

WHOO!!! It's marching season again! We had our first competition yesterday and its great to be back on the field throwing metal poles into the air and trying to "slide" across the field which if you have ever been in band you know it should be deemed humanly impossible.  We did AMAZING yesterday by my standard. To the judges standard we ranked 6th in our class, granted there were only 6 bands in our class... minor details. We did however rank 8th out of all 19 bands that performed!! Yay! Two of my bestest friends are on guard as well and let me tell you, us three together is like mashing a hurricane, tornado, and a tidal wave all in one. IT'S MADNESS!! We had an amazing time and totally took pictures. So without further ado... a snapshot of yesterday!

These are the girlz that I love more than anything in the world. Even if we do suck at group pictures. ;) 

There may or may not have been those wisp toothbrushes in my besties bag and I may or may not have tried them :) So. Much. Fun!! 

I blame the Resee's

I swear it was the Reese's that started all this BG shananaginz!

Thursdays... I don't know it's like for some reason my pancreas and Thursdays hate me and want to get back at me for everything I've ever done to them which is nothing. At least I don't think I've done anything. Anyways... It was Thursday morning I'm usually pretty good at carb counting in the morning and balancing out protein with carbs, but I ate more than I usually did. I held out surprisingly well spiking at 117 an hour after breakfast which is when I'm usually already on the downward spiral. So I didn't correct or boost nothing. At my 9:00 am check I was 91 which was amazing for this time in the morning. I gave myself a mental pat-on-the-back and continued fourth. Lunch rolled around and I decided I would treat myself today. My normal is pizza and a water. Yesterday I had pizza, water and I split my Resse's with someone else. Now just so you know lunch for me ends at 12:30ish. My last class of the day is choir and school lets out at 1:15ish. 1:00 rolls around and I was slammed from nowhere with this haze like vision and clouded mind. Hoping it was nothing I kept singing. 4 mins later I couldn't breath or see straight. I walked up to the nurse and tested. 60. Okay not to bad... Crap. I was rushed this morning and forgot all about my depleted juice box stash. I only had one granola bar with 17 carbs. I opened it up and prayed it would bring me back up in 10 mins because I needed to be on that bus. I ate, retested... 58. Well crap. Not even two seconds later the bell rang. Grr. The fasa nurse looked at me and asked me what my retest was. I knew I wasn't going to be on the bus. Not only did
my bg not rise, but it was falling. Now comes my favorite part. The calling of the mom. "Hi this is ____ from ______ school calling from the nurse's office. (Explanation of the bg situation...) can you come pick her up we can't release her until she's back up and by then the buses will have left." The dreaded words... pick her up. In the end my bg came back up to 100, but it was scary. I've NEVER corrected and still have my bg falling. I've NEVER not had a juice box when I needed it the most, and I NEVER want to go through this again.
    Well that was my Thursday for ya. I hope your weekend is absolutably AMAZING!!
Keep your head up,
Ellie <3

An Update In Pictures!

Sometimes I just can't explain what I've been up to so here is just a glimpse of my weekend.

 The Church Carnival! 

We had a ton of fun working this weekend at our church's carnival. :) 

Popcorn Man! 

 Oh yes... Be jealous of the face paint! 

My brother, best friend, and I also attended the Nevada Wild Fest. The procedes went to the Lili Claire Foundation, a foundation very close to my heart. We had an amazing time and came home with some amazing memories! 

 She had her eyes closed. ;) 

 My bro isn't the biggest Ferris Wheel fan :) 

 This was her very first Ferris Wheel ride. She was a little nervous and held onto the pole for dear life. 

TODAY IS ALSO TUESDAY!! Which means there are only 2 and 1/2 days left til the weekend!! WHOO!!!

Keep your head up and your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all timez,
ellie <3

Scariest Night Ever

I was going to post something else, but I feel the need to tell you about my scariest night last night. It starts at 8:00 in the morning when I was working a carnival and went low... three times one day. Not just low like 70 but low like 60's, 50's low. Then I went to my cousins bday party. It was Alice And Wonderland themed and was really cute. I counted. I had a total of 54 carbs last night at 6:30. That was all I ate that would usually shoot me into the 110ish, but it didn't. I was starting to fall asleep so I went and tested. 197.  That's high I've never gone that high. At that point I excused myself from the party and walked back home. So I drank a water. Retested 254. Now I was scared. Water... retest... 262. Water... retest... 200. Water retest... 136. Water retest... 88. It took three hours to bring it down and even when I was down I retested every two hours during the night. I was scared to death and didn't know what to do or how to react. Just a small glimpse of reality in the life of one scared and confused person.

Tuesday 2/5

OH YEAH!! It's Tuesday 2/5 of this week DONE, in the bag, kissed goodbye what ever you want to call it it's over with. So this is my yay we're almost halfway done with the week post. :P Tomorrow I take PSAT's so not excited, but I hope everyone else has an amazing week!! Whoo make sure you put your best foot forward and if you live near Vegas you should check out the Nevada Wild Fest :) It's gonna be AMAZING!

Keep your head up and your weekend countdown counting,
Ellie <3

The One Time I Didn't...

The one time I've EVER gone low at band practice was yesterday. I've gone low at games before, but my parents were there and the concession stands were open so they could go buy me starbursts or something. I've always planed for this day. I have a bag in my band locker with juice, and granola bars, and nerds, and frosting, and a flashlight for some odd reason. The point of this bag was it and my meter were always supposed to go down to the field with me. I got to comfortable, I felt to safe I didn't bring my bag down to the field I only brought my meter and my juice. I did my routine check an hour and a half in. I was 80 so I drank my juice to boost it and got back out there. A half hour later I was dizzy and tired and was being yelled at for not paying attention. Something just clicked. I ran off the field and tested 60... That's why. Crap. My bag is in the band ROOM and I was on the field. GRRR! So I got up and walked over to the guard coach person. We exchanged the usual are you okay, I gave him the explanation he said go get your bag with the guard captain. She complained the entire way to the band room about being hungry. I kinda wanted to smack her in the face and be like yo dummy I'm low and can't think do you mind shuting up for one moment, but the world doesn't revolve around me and I didn't. I did give her a granola bar to keep her from whining all the way back. I finally ate my granola bar and retested at 106. Crisis averted. Moral of the story never get to comfortable always stay on your toes. And ALWAYS bring your bag.

Keep your head up and your bags with you,
Ellie <3

Day 8 of the 365 Project

Just a day in the life of a bored person with chalk and a really empty driveway. :P

3's A Charm

3 the things I could do with 3...
-buy a candy bar (those things are expensive. It's like 2.50 a bar... INSANE!)
-run a marathon faster (if i had three legs. Well maybe not.)
-smile brighter and eat more (I really need to get myself three mouths.)

Now let's think about all the 3 related things I could do without...
-The chemistry test I retook 3 times and still only got a 60%!
-The three minutes it took to open my locker I was late to English!
-The three people sitting next to us at lunch that were super annoying.
-The three times I was hit with a flag pole in guard today.
-Oh and the THREE flippin lows I got today and today isn't even over... awesome.


But through the mists of all that INSANITY I held my smile and I've decided nothing and nobody can take that away from me. Take that haters!! So I encourage you all to enter this weekend with a smile on your face and your head held high because it feels awesome. :)

Keep your head up,
Ellie <3

* this was supposed to be posted yesterday. but didn't. Sorry. :) *

This is not my picture... with that said I wish it was.

I woke up this morning and was instantly happy knowing I could finally wear a hoodie again and not be judged. I was so excited when I turned on the news and the weather lady said 55 degrees with possible hail storms in the early morning through out the valley. I was super excited when I found my slipper socks. But that all came crashing to the ground when my mom told me that there were stars out during her morning run and it didn't even smell like rain. It was sunny. Really sunny. It was still only  55 so I remained hopeful for the day. I was hopeful when my first BG check of the day was 82, and I was still hopeful when the second BG check of the day was 82. All that came crashing to the ground when my BG check an hour after lunch was 140, because when I'm higher than 120 and don't lower it by downing water I crash... hard. So after reviving it with a cheese stick and double checking it was holding steady my mom picked me up from school. We then decided we were going to chase the storm blowing over Lake Mead. We drove through a little rain, but that was about it. I consider this a successful day, although I will be writing a letter to the Channel 8 weather lady telling her she needs to look outside before she tells me it's going to hail. Because I for one look forward to anything resembling snow or precipitation for that matter. I guess the moral of today is the weather lady is NEVER right and to NEVER eat Cup-of-noodle and drink a mini Gatorade in the same meal unless you want to explain why you are a lethargic nervous water downing kid during sixth period.

Keep your head up and your doppler radars correct,
Ellie <3

Day 8 of the 365 Project

OH SNAP! fuzzy slipper socks AND fuzzy slipper shoes in Vegas in October BE JEALOUS!!
Haha I love Winter!! <3 

Stay warm,
Ellie <3

Bats, Vlogs, and Netflix

Well... Where to begin. Let's start with the Netflix. The server is back up and I was finally able to watch my Psych again! I was going through with-drawls yesterday because my Netflix was not working and I couldn't watch my show. But *five second dance party* it's back up and I'm SUPER HAPPY.
Next I tried my first blog today. It kinda worked I guess. It's like 8 minutes long and I honestly have no idea how to edit so hopefully when I get it posted it won't boar you to death.
AAAND lastly. I am deathly afraid of spiders, snakes, crickets, car alarms (no joke I literally scream and run away), and bats. Well there is a few other things but that's a majority of it. Anyways, my grandparents porch wraps around to the backdoor. When I walked over there I went and knocked on the back door. When all of a sudden I heard a shuffle of flapping noises. I looked up to see three bats right above my head trying to fly away. Scariest. Shiz. EVER. I screamed... ran away... tripped and twisted my ankle (that could be a scene in one of those murder movies). Now I'm scared to go back over there and twice as scared of bats as before... I'm sure any other normal person would have handled this a little differently, but I'm scared of bats and recovering from Netflix with-drawls.

Keep your head up and your netflix running,
Ellie <3

Blank Stares, Explanations, and Hide-n-go-seek

Does anybody hide this whether it be hypoglycemia or diabetes or something completely random, do you hide it or do you openly admit it to the world and take on the questions full force? I test and correct in class, all my teachers are cool with it and don't make a big deal about it. But like yesterday I was testing in 3rd period. The kid to my left was like "YoU HAve DiabETeS?!" with eyes bugging out and everything. At that moment I wanted to crawl in a hole and wait for him to leave, but I couldn't. I explained my story and prepared myself for questions. His first was "and you have to poke yourself with a needle every day?" My answer was yes I do, three times a day sometimes more depending on some things. He looked at me blankly. "I could never do that." He said. This annoys me to no end, especially when he's like Mr. Captain of the football team and always acts all high and mighty. My answer was simply I haven't seen my mom since I left for school this morning. I want to live to see her again at the end of the day this is what I have to do to ensure that I do see her again. And I'm okay with that. He looked at  me once again with blank eyes. He did finally drop the subject, but I didn't want to. I wanted to make sure he understood that this is what I do everyday and that it's not my choice to poke myself three times a day and drink juice boxes like my life depends on it, but I will anyways because it's what I have to do. So do you hide it and kind of make people go look for it if they really want to know or am I just crazy to want to?

Day 7 of the 365 Project

     A few weeks ago at Monday night band practice the color guard was looking a tiny bit sluggish. Well, we all were. Thus was the origin of my latest idea (did I use thus correctly?). Every Tuesday I would bring candy to give away to who ever wanted it. Some weeks it's chocolate others it's blow pops and air heads, but if it's Tuesday I have candy. I took a trip to my beloved store Target and bought a brand new bag of candy for next Tuesday. This bringing you to today's picture. I hope you all have a FANTABULOUS Tuesday. :D

Giagantor bag of candy!! 

Day 6 of the 365 Project

Make your own pizza night with the family. Good timez <3 

Packin Heat

My lows have taken a trip to the gun show and are now packing heat. Little lows like in the 70s (my normal is 80+) are becoming a lot worse than just the usual shaky unfocused lows I'm used to. I've also been getting anxiety attacks with them. I'll be 72 at a game and drink a juice but all of a sudden my legs won't work and my brain kinda shuts off and I go limp for a while. This happened yesterday, but it was different yesterday. It was me in the band room with all of the color guard and two parents who had no idea what to do if someone were to ever pass out in there care. Heck they didn't even know my name. I sat down and started drinking my juice but, once again my brain shut off. I remember people asking me are you okay? Do you need me to go get water, Are you going to die. For some reason their first thought is death and that annoys the crap out of me. The anxiety kicks in when I know I'm alone in the situation. All of them know I have hypoglycemia, all of them know not to make me get up and move when I'm in this state, but none of them know what to do. They depend on me to tell them and yesterday as hard as I tried I couldn't get a simple word to come out of my mouth. I had to wait it out and just see where it went. And that waiting game is what scares me. Because those seconds I can't speak for myself are critical seconds between life and death sometimes and that's a thought I won't let myself think. I've decided on Monday I'm going to go in and talk to the captains about what to do that way they won't be completely dependent on me telling them what to do when I'm in this situation. Because for me that's a scary thought.