Friday, August 31, 2012

I Need To Get Over This

Let's just use this cat as a visual reference to how I am when a day like this happens.
Now that you can see it, please feel free to continue reading today's post.  
      Today at like nine I felt the usual: shakes, dizziness, no concept of time, space, anything for that matter. I test like normal and I freak out when at 30 something flashes on the screen. I mean of course it would, it's only the fifth day of school. By default I drink a juice, down a fruit snack packet, and eat a smarties. I guess now I'm looking pale, and higher than... *enter a metaphor or simile for high here* When the end of my next class came I did the annoying part of being low, I tested again. I had shot up to a whopping 58. *enter exasperated sigh here*. A 58 wasn't low enough that I wasn't concerned and it wasn't high enough to be happy with so I sulked on with my day. Lunch came and I wasn't hungry, I had a headache, was tired, and just ready to be done with the week. So I bought some water, took Tylenol, and tried not to snap at anybody doing anything stupid while I was in this state. A few people bugged me about eating because they knew I was low earlier, but I just wasn't in the mood. I could have cared less about the consequences of not eating at that time. After lunch I go to tech theater, I mean of course today would be the day we go up to the sound booth and onto the catwalks.*Enter yet another exasperated sigh here,* so I drug my dizzy and out-of-sorts butt up the stairs to learn about technical things. When the final bell rang I felt beat like, I literally felt that I couldn't physically hold myself up anymore. I walked into the band room and sat down on the floor. I tested to see if I was decent enough to drive home, oh no... It had to be a flat out 50. So I trudged around school with another fellow guardie and waited for the smarties to kick in before I drove home.
     So now that you've heard the story let me explain the lessons that I learned from this:
1. If you're 30 something you need to go visit the nurse, no matter how much you hate missing class a 30 something is NOT OKAY to be walking around with.
2. If you're still low after the first time you treat it's probably a good time to get more carbs in you.
3. I don't eat lunch at school... ever... unless I'm really really hungry or low. I NEED to start eating lunch and or eating more of a snack because a water and Tylenol is not going to cut it.
4. I need to stop being stubborn. There were like two people who kept trying to get me to eat, but I wouldn't swallow my stupid pride and start eating. Because I'm an independent person and I don't like to be told what to do. So if you were one of those people today... Sorry I was such a jerk.
5. I need to get over this, this not caring about the consequences of not eating, or treating, or caring. Because this is my life, my health on the line and there's not a lot of margin to screw around with. I need to start paying attention and being smarter about my choices.
If there's one thing I learned today it's to:
Keep your head up and press on,
Ellie <3

Sunday, August 26, 2012

It Was Really Quite A Miserable Way To End Summer If You Ask Me

     The last week of Summer started off to be a great one. School supplies were being bought, my room was surprisingly being cleaned everything was going magically. Tuesday morning rolled around and I have three more hours of band camp, an hour of dance class and then I was free for the rest of the day. I finished band and headed straight over to dance where I tried to quickly join in. However; I was finding it hard to catch my breath and keep up. Thinking it was a low, I checked, my bg was 125 which is normal enough for me. But, I figured it was just from being out in the sun all morning on the football field and my breathing would return to normal quickly. After dance I went home and took it easy later going to the mall with my mom and brother. I reached over to open the door and I had to stop. It felt like someone was stabbing my chest repeatedly and I couldn't breath what so ever. My mom told me to stretch it out because it could just be growing pains, so I did. But it continued to worsen. It got to the point where I couldn't just stand up because it hurt so much. My mom took me home and gave me Tylenol and a heating pad to put on my chest. Neither of those things did anything for the pain or my shortness of breath. I opted out of going to dinner because I was in so much pain. My mom called around 5:00 to make sure I was still doing okay. I got up to use the restroom and just flat out could not breathe. I fell over and didn't know what to do. I had to literally talk myself through how to take a breath. I crawled over to the phone and called my grandma with barely any voice because I swear to you I could not breathe. She was over in ten seconds flat. She called my mother and they rushed me to the hospital, because like I said I could. Not. Breathe. Turned out I pulled a muscle in my chest area causing the cartilage around it to swell and the swelling isn't giving my lungs enough room to do their lungy job. All in all, I'm in pain.

     Well anyway, Thursday morning we left early in the morning to go camping. Now mind you I'm still in a ton of pain. My mom handed me an anti-inflammatory pill which also helps the pain and I took it. An hour later I'm still in pain so my mom gave me the other thing the doctor prescribed, I can't remember what they were called but let me just say, it knocked me out. I was gone for the rest of the trip. I woke up at a gas station and started putting on my shoes half asleep. My mom turned around and asked me if I was okay. "I'm gonna get sick." I told her simply. "Well, forget the shoes and get out of the car!" She grabbed my hand and walked me over to a curb where I took a seat. I never did get sick, but I was dizzy and loopy as hell. The rest of my weekend continued like this. The side affects of the anti-inflammatory pills were so. much. fun. And I say that in the most sarcastic way. But that was just the tip of the ice burg the pills the Dr. prescribed also made me drop like a rock. So I spent most of my weekend in the low 40's mid 50's. It was just a blast really. -_- So while everyone else was having a great weekend I was sitting there most likely asleep having a miserable drug induced weekend. Really it was just a horrible way to end the Summer. Do you see my enthusiasm there?? 

Keep your head up and make this school year great,
Ellie <3 

Monday, August 20, 2012

The Uphill Battle And The Bloopers In Life

     Today's post will be a multiple posts in one post, post. Does that make sense??? No one? ookay then never mind. 

     Summer is such an easy going time of the year. You're done with school, you can hang out, eat when ever you need to, go places when ever you need to, it's all fun and games until the school years starts. I've started my countdown.We only have 7 days left of Summer. This is both exciting and completely unnerving. I'm excited to get back to the new school year, I'm excited to see my friends and start up marching season. But with all of that comes the constant flow of math, and numbers, and carb counts, and purchasing of frosting for me and the nurse, and getting last minute orders faxed in from the doctor, and packing snacks and guesstimating my schedule based on last year's events. I'm excited, but worried. What would you call that exerried? (Nevermind erase that horrible word from your memory.) The beginning of the school year is always such an uphill battle. It's always me and my body fighting against the rest of the world. And although there are other people who are going through the same thing, maybe even worse, none of my family knows what it's like to go through this every.. single.. year. So I'll start this school year with my head held high and my bg completely out of whack and I will conquer.

     Oh hey. It turns out I'm allergic to freakin cinnamon!!!!!!!!!!!!  I found this out the other night while making cookies, amazing cookies might I add and when I was finished I, like always, licked the bowl.(I mean who doesn't right?) Anyway I haven't made this type of cookie in a few years so I licked a lot of the bowl because it was good. And then my tongue started itching, and then a few minutes later my eyes started watering, and you could just start to see my tongue swelling just a bit, but I didn't think much of it. Until my breathing became shallow and my throat started feeling like it was closing in. *caugh caugh* still couldn't breath, throat still feeling like it was closing. Maybe you should go take a benedrill, my mother told me.But see I can't swallow pills so I stayed put until she shoved it down my still closing throat. Soo umm I guess I'm allergic to cinnamon now..

     Sometimes life is all about letting go and trying new things. Like not worrying or just not caring (unless it's important than you should care.) You see that girl behind me. Her name is TooClazzy. Okay that's not her name, but ya'll don't really need to know it. Anyway she's one of my besties who has a great sense of humor. She always made fun of my new product Dex4. I bought it one day while shopping and decided it might come in useful for band camp. Today it did. On the bottle it says boosts lows fast and boosts energy. Well, I was low... like very low and when you're that low you tend to get picky about food (or at least I do). So when I was sitting on the field with a 38 I opened up the bottle and began to sip, it wasn't that it tasted bad, it just didn't taste like I wanted it to at that moment so I went back to my juice box. Well TooClazzy came over and was like hey that boosts energy? Can I have the rest? And I was like I really don't care. She thought it was the greatest thing EVER. It was seriously funny and made me laugh which is good when you're chillin at a 38 in the middle of 110 degree whether OUTSIDE!!
What ever happens...
always keep your head up and your smile on (and if you're me... stay away from cinnamon),
Ellie <3

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


I was sleeping so Sidney (tator) decided to remind every one where my toes were... 
     I am naturally a very lazy person. I really do believe we all are, but that's besides the point. I was pondering this last night when I lost all sight in my left eye.. for the second time yesterday. I discovered that I know all the warning signs, and for the most part I start feeling symptoms before I'm almost on the floor. But, a lot of times I don't listen to what my body is telling my brain. I know when it's happening or about to happen, I just know, but I refuse to listen to it. I put off testing or correcting until it's almost to late. And I've come up with a few reasons why. I can't figure out why, but it happens 40% of the time:
-I'm to lazy to get up and go get food
-I'm hanging out with friends and don't want to leave to take care of it
-I don't want to be judged
-I just don't want to
-or I don't think I'm as low as I actually am.
     I know the signs. I know what to do. I know I can do it. So why don't I? Why can't I get my brain to tell my body we gotta do this, we must take care of this. It's like somewhere the message to correct the low is getting lost somewhere en route to my brain. I should probably figure that one out, before it's to late.

Keep your head up and you brain sharp,
Ellie <3