Sunday, April 29, 2012

All Day.


All day.
I've been lying around lazily all day since we got home from the movies. I would lie on the couch half heartedly switching channels before turning the TV off and moving to another couch. Sleeping for a half hour and then starting the process over again. That's it.
All day.
I began to get bored of this process around 3:00 and decided it was a grand time to just see what the ol' blood sugar was up to. 63. I ate spagetti o's. Well, half of them and then I felt like I would get sick if I ate anymore so I threw them away and got a juice box instead. Once again only half was drank before it was off to the trash with it's bad self. Thirty minutes later on a commercial break I decided it would be a good time to retest just to be on the safe side. 68. At least it went up? I decided enough of the whole meal options I went straight to the candy drawer. Two smarty packs to tie me over til dinner. Thirty minutes later the count down flashed on my screen... 31. Hmmmm. I forced a lunchable, cookie, and a juice box down and then sat on the kitchen floor watching the world buzz around me and feeling completely hopeless. Not soon after was dinner and I ate a full meal. I'm holding steady at 111 right now (like the symmetry?) So will see how long that lasts.
All day.
But this whole scene makes me worried. In 17 days I leave for California with my choir and we still don't know what any of this is. This is my third thirty since last Monday. NOT COOL! I would like some answers soon, but no one is really commited to helping me find them. So here I sit. Worried as hell and drunked out on juice boxes. I'm gonna have the worst "lowover" when I wake up tomorrow morning. -_- Wish me luck.

Keep your head up and your laziness contained,
Ellie <3

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Keep Digging

Sometimes I have those days where waking up starts the morning off on a bad foot and the ball just keeps rolling from there.
Yesterday, was one of those days. One of those days where a Luna Bar on the bus is my only breakfast and people are just 20x more annoying than they usually are. Where you're still half asleep and the bus driver thinks you're half dead. Those days where you really don't want to try to balance out meals with blood sugars and activities and days where you really don't give a flying rats patooty. Where cookies is your life line to keep you awake, but ends up almost killing you with a blood sugar of 32 an hour later. -_-. Where the person who usually keeps you smiling doesn't show up to school. And a couple of the people who know you're low and annoying to no end asking you if you're still alive. Obviously I'm still breathing. Let's talk again if for some awful reason I'm not. When you want to throw a shoe at your wall just cuz it seemed like a great idea. When you're a little scared to walk home because you're not as alert as you normally are and then you realize this and switch into hyper vigilance mode. When after you pick up your brother from the bus stop you fall asleep for three hours and when people won't leave you alone so you can fall asleep again you go over to grandma's and fall asleep there. Sometimes, I have those kinds of days.
And then there are days like today, where everything is great you're happy it's all drizzly outside and the weather is beautiful, but your blood sugar doesn't want to cooperate. This has been my week. My numbers have been completely erratic, and very rarely ever over 60 and I can feel it taking its toll on my body. And I don't like that feeling. I'm in a ditch this week and it sucks. I'm not to excited it's only Wednesday. Just wanted to be real with every one.

Keep  your head up and keep digging,
Ellie <3

Friday, April 20, 2012

These Questions

Do they know?
Is the orange dust all over me?
Do they think I'm doing drugs?
Do they think I'm a fat a$$?
Do they know this is all to keep me safe?
Do they know I have no intentions of bombing this or any other airport?
Do they know?

Do they know? That's a question I don't think I'll be able to ever answer 100%. At the beginning of ninth grade when this was all starting I was eating so much more, and I thought I only needed sugar, so I would always carry extra brownies. I wasn't educated enough to know what was going on in my body or how to educate people. And now with all my tests coming back negative, I still don't. But, at the beginning of all this I was always called fat because I was constantly eating, and I was called lazy because I would never want to move (turns out my brain wasn't getting enough energy I guess??) I was always having to listen in on people's conversations because half the time they were about me. It hurt, one of the campus security at my school kinda helped me through a lot of the bullying and always checked up on me. If he saw me crying he would tell me to go wash my face off and then let me sit and recompose myself and then would walk me to class to make sure I wasn't marked late. Now as I've grown into what ever this is I've been able to educate more people and show them I'm only doing it for my health and that it's way better to be fat and safe then skinny and always on the ground. I've grown into being able to take the stares and the uncomfortable silence in those five seconds as people look over my shoulder to watch the number pop onto my screen. I still ask myself the questions of do the think my glucose tabs are drugs? And I've also learned that when you can't beat 'em join 'em. Someone asked me if I was doing drugs while I was chomping down some glucose tabs and I answered simply, yup I'm a druggie. They didn't believe me so I told them what they were and no we both refference to them as drugs.
   My friends have also learned a few things too. They don't ask as many questions either. They've also realized that part of what ever this is, is my "quiet days", the days where I just don't feel like talking or being awake or comprehending anything. They've learned that it really helps on these days if they fill me in on the notes that I zoned out for accidentally. Or just letting me be. This thing doesn't just live in my life, it's snaked its way into my friends, family and teacher's lives too. I guess for now I'll keep asking myself these questions, learning, educating, and growing. And maybe one day there won't be a need for anymore questions.

Keep your head up and keep growing,
Ellie <3

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I Got Yo Back

Everyday, unless I stay after, like clock work I get off the bus at the bus stop and begin my journey home. And everyday like clock work our same UPS man is making his daily rounds through our neighborhood delivering packages and what not. And almost once a week he delivers something to my house and every time, I'm the one that signs for it.
It all started a while ago, we would cross paths at intersections and what not and we were always friendly with a wave and a smile, but he would always keep driving his route. Day in and day out this was our routine, and somehow it just sorta kept happening exactly this way. One day I was walking home on a low and was drinking my juice box and keeping to myself, and like every other day I could hear his truck coming down the street and turned around to wave at him. Except this time I lost my balance because I was dizzy, I quickly regained my footing, but didn't slip the awkward gaze that he gave me today as he drove by. 45 minutes later I was back in range and heard him pulling up to our driveway. I raced out to grab what ever he was delivering this time. Normally we'd say hello I'd sign and then we'd part our ways. This time we sung a different tune.
"Hey are you okay? I saw you almost fell walking home." He said handing over the package.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I've always been the clumsy one in the family." I answered as I scribbled my messy signature across his little tablet with one hand.
"You were also carrying a juice box. You like being a little kid again?" He asked half joking. This caught me off guard. He was either being a stalker and watching my every move, or he was genuinely concerned.
"No I actually have hypoglycemia, my blood sugar was low and I was trying to boost it. That's also kinda why I fell." This caught him off guard.
"I always knew there was something off with you. I've seen you wobbling home before, I try to make sure you get home safely when I ever I see you like that. Don't think I'm being a stalker or anything. Don't worry. I got your back." That's all he said before he disembarked for the next half of his trip. Their truly are people who watch out for me when I'm walking home. Yes, it was a little bit of an awkward conversation, but I've gotten to know him more and more as he delivered more packages. So Joe, if you're reading this, Thanks for having my back it's nice to know you're watching out for me, and not in a creepy way.

Keep your head up and keep educating,
Ellie <3

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Getting Through April

April. Not even half way over and I've already done so much. It started off busy and out of town, leading into my glucose tolerance testing (which all came back wonderful so I guess I'm a medical mystery??) Which is when we took a mini field trip to the new Hoover Dam bypass bridge, which is about and hour away from my house. 


In between Arizona and Nevada. 


Back on the Nevada side. 

If you can see him, he's a big horn sheep down by the water. 

 Then came Elizabeth Keane Day. When I received my big Prudential Spirit Of Community award in 2010 the city counsel dedicated April 7th as Elizabeth Keane Day. It was only April 7, 2010, but we like to celebrate it every year... WITH CAKE!!!

 Then came Easter. As always we have a HUGE Easter party with AMAZING food after church, and boy was it delicious!!



Hiding Easter eggs! 



The Easter egg finders. The hat on my head doubled as an
Easter egg basket as I was to lazy to go and find a real one.


 Next came the TourDeCure! I was soo excited to be riding in the 15mile ride. It was super rainy and cold in Vegas that day, and it was a little annoying because it NEVER rains in Vegas and it just decides today is a great day to poor. But, luckily the rain held out and it was beautiful riding weather! It was also really cool to meet people who had diabetes, I've never seen so many insulin pumps and people checking their blood sugar in one place. And it was neat to be able to encourage them in their fight.

Hoola-hooping before the ride. 





At the starting line. That's my nervous smile. 





Off we go! 

Coming up to the rest stop after a super long hill! 


Power drinking water so I could finish the last 7 miles! 

After the rest stop up the next part of the big hill! 

Coming up to the finish line and passing the big red truck.



Crossing the finish line!!
Huge smiles all the way!!! 

Meeting Monica Jackson the Fox 5 news anchor and telling
her I saw her commercial for this even and that's what made me
decide to sign up and ride. 



Doing a sound byte for the Monday morning news on why I decided
to ride and why I was so crazy for not having any training and just
doing it. 

The celebratory Outback lunch. 


It was amazing!!
That rounds out the first half of April. Now we're at the final stretch of school, I get my licsence in a month and turn 16, start my summer job, and more! I'm so excited. Hope your April is filled with laughs and great numbers.

Keep your head up and push on,
Ellie <3

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Letting Loose

video
While you all are enjoying your weekend I will be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. This is just a video of how I spent my time last night waiting for a low to rebound so I could go to sleep. Hopefully this lasts you til I have a chance to write again.

Keep your head up and dance away,
Ellie <3

My Civil War

     This is my guard. Guard has become one of my passions if I'm not at guard practice then I'm thinking about guard, if I'm not in guard then I'm sitting next to someone else who is in guard, and if I'm not with the entire guard I'm with some of my best friends who are in guard. Guard has become a part of me, something everybody knows about me. Something I have to deal with when it comes to blood sugars every day. The nurse knows that between 4th and 5th period there's an 80% possibility I will be up to ask her a question as to how many carbs she thinks I need in order to make it through a class, and my instructors know if I'm sitting out there's an 80% chance I can't see out of my left eye. Guard is slowly coming part of the routine when it comes to managing my health.
     This year our guard show is called Civil War. Our song is by Guns and Roses and it's slowly becoming stuck in my head and replaying every minute. Well, when we first started peforming we were never "telling a story" to our audience. Then our guard instructors said "think about what your civil war is whether it's your parents telling you to do your chores, or your teachers not teaching anything." We were supposed to tell our stories in our body language and facial expressions. It took me a while to figure out what my civil war was and it came to me one day when I was sitting out with a blood sugar of 46 trying to regain feeling in my legs. My civil war is trying to manage my health and my blood sugar while staying a kid and doing the things I love. And for many of us I think this is our civil war. Some may show it more than others, and others may show it all the time, but this is our civil war and this is something we must all live with and manage. I hope you all find an outlet to take your anger out on instead of keeping your civil war story to yourself. We all fight in this civil war with blood sugars. And I encourage you to never stop fighting.

Keep your head up and keep fighting,
Ellie <3

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

TourdeCure


I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! TourdeCure is coming to Vegas and you bet I plan on being a part of it!! It's a 15mile bike ride and all the proceeds go to the American Diabetes Association. Although I don't live with diabetes personally I know a lot of people who do and I am so honored to help in their fight. I am currently fundraising for this event and you can help. I've already raised $50, but I need at least $150 to ride. If you would like to support me in this amazing bike ride you can go to the TourdeCure website and click donate. When you get to the website click donate and type in my name: Elizabeth Keane. Anything and everything helps. I hope to raise as much as I can for the American Diabetes Association! Pictures will be posted as soon as I get home from riding!
Thank you for all your continued support,
Ellie <3

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Keep Fighting

     I've decided to post this after much debate. I think it's something that needs to be told, but I also think it's something that could haunt us for a while. So if you are someone who is sensitive to medical things or are scared of severe low blood sugars I would encourage you to use discretion, because unfortunately this is a true story.
     I went camping this past weekend. It wasn't like a normal camping trip it was camping with upwards 900 other people maybe topping 1000 including spectators. I was down the hill at registration helping some of the ladies with paper work and stuff when the dreaded words came across the radio, it didn't stop anybody else in their tracks, but to me I felt my chest tighten and I couldn't breath. A younger male was having a seizure, they needed medics and oxygen asap and let's get a flight for life in the air it looks like a bad one. I sat their helping register another family trying to hide the pain that I felt for this poor man waiting for confirmation he was okay. Then I heard it again, he's got a medical ID let's call for a glucometer. The ID had no info just a phone number and a name. The guy was conscious, but not in any state to respond to questions. I quickly reached into my back pocket and told one of the ladies to grab the radio and tell them I had a way to test blood sugar and just before she did I stopped her. I didn't have strips. I didn't have enough money to go buy more before we left and my mom wouldn't spot me any because, well she doesn't believe me. I only carried my meter so that if something like this were to happen to me they could tell, they would know. The radios went silent, the helicopter landed and they transported the type one diabetic to the hospital. His blood glucose meter and his insulin still sitting in his car at the base of the hill. When I got back up to the top my mom ran over to me. "They were calling for a meter! I couldn't find yours, I took down the bag with the little strip bottles, but they couldn't find the meter!" She realized that day how important it was that we figure out what is causing my blood sugar to drop, she realized that she needed to help buy strips when ever she can because that could have easily been me. I did find out that the man was stable. The cause of the seizure was dehydration, but he also had a bg of 50. He just like me was not approved to carry a glucagon because there was no real evidence that blood sugars would go that low. He'd never passed out before, and he'd never been unconscious. We're all fighting this very scary battle. I don't wear an insulin pump or have to give myself shots, but I respect those who do and I give huge props to those who do, but we're all fighting the fight of blood sugars. We all have those high-five worthy days, and we all have those that was a close call days. We're all going through it, and we're all going to get through it. That man showed me all the more that I need to fight with all I have to get a proper diagnosis and have people help me figure out the right ways to prevent something like that from happening. That man also showed my mother how much she had to learn and how much more she could be of assistance in my fight. I just ask you all to keep fighting, and to pray for that man. This is our fight, and We. Will. Win.

Keep your head up and keep FIGHTING,
Ellie <3