I Finally Got What I Came For

     Today was my neurologist appointment. The one that was supposed to tell me once again there was nothing wrong with me, the one that was supposed to blow me off once again as someone who will grow out of it, the doctor that I was constantly told "not to hold my breath for." I got an answer. Finally for once I got what I came for. I got an answer.
     I got a diagnoses, a solid plan of attack, and a positive report overall. I was diagnosed with something so simple everyone thinks it's almost sad no one thought of this before. It doesn't explain the hypoglycemia, but I've come to terms with that fact. I'd much rather have to treat a low blood sugar than be found on the floor by the janitor. The neurologist spent 20 minutes talking to me asking me questions about every episode reading the journal I brought with me explaining everything he took the time to listen and I don't think anybody who hasn't been in the same position as me will ever understand how much that meant to me. He did an evaluation and handed me a packet. I'm officially diagnosed with Acute Confusional Migraines. Migraines, that's all it was. The blood vessels in my brain were constricting and I was firing something or other way to fast and my brain can't keep up with it. Well, that's what I got from his explanation. It causes literally every symptom I've been getting. Blurry vision when ever I'm trying to read something, jelly legs, shakiness  dizziness, nausea which has caused me to throw up,disorientation, EVERYTHING. Other people who have also had it describe one of they're symptoms as they're head filling up with air or water.. my mom thought I was just making that up! It's real! It causes people to forget their names, what they were doing, or where they need to go. It literally covers every symptom I have felt with this, including the blackout spells, fainting, and not being able to remember what's happened to me! He gave me a prescription for medication (don't ask me what it's called cuz I got no clue) but I take it when ever I feel the first symptom like it has to be with in the first two-three minutes and within fifteen minutes I'm supposed to magically feel 10x better. And you know what, I believe him. He's says it will help if I rest after I take one, but if I would like to and I am able to I can return to my normal activities and it doesn't cause drowsiness. He also gave me, I kid you not, "headache packet" it has a calendar and every time I get an episode I have to look back and write down things that might have triggered it. Hopefully soon, I will have a personalized list of do's and don'ts to prevent more of these migraines to happen. No one understands how happy I am to finally have a diagnoses and to have a plan. I came home and cried for a good 20 minutes because I was so relieved. He is ordering and EEG and an MRI just to be absolute sure I'm not epileptic or anything more serious, but this is it. This is the answer I've been fainting for over three months for. This. Is. It. I feel so relieved, so happy, so free. I can finally be myself again. I finally have my life back. Hopefully the medications work like they're supposed to and this is all solved. I finally got what I came for, and it feels amazing.

Now that I can proceed with guard with out passing out I'll be able to kick
more major butt at competitions! :D

Keep your head up and always look forward for tomorrow,
Ellie <3

My Head Fills With Water

     

 
       It was a water break. I felt fine, stressed, but other than that fine. I walked out of the gym and into the bathroom to wet a paper towel. Like every other water break I placed the cool towel on my head, rested my feet parallel up against the wall and laid on the floor in an attempted 90 degree angle, it's how I calm down and decompress. When the break is over someone comes out and collects me and we begin practice again. It's a routine, one that I'm used to, one that works for me. Well, at least until it doesn't work for me.
     On Monday night I was laying there, and the last thing I remember is my head filling up with water. The next thing I remember is my guard instructor and a janitor standing over me asking me to many questions waay to fast. I at the time had no idea who they were or where I was or why anyone was standing over me. My guard instructor told me I was a school for practice and them helped me up and back into the gym while I sat there pretty much crying the rest of the practice. When practice was over I got in my car and drove home. Still unsure of what happened, still not feeling back up to par, still crying. I didn't tell my mom, but I did tell Mrs. M my school nurse because now I'm scared to go to guard. I got the whole story Tuesday afternoon when my friend Maddy said she came out and nudged me a couple times (apparently I never responded) she went to get my instructor and while she was gone a janitor was sweeping past me and asked me if I was okay, he too went to find my instructor because I did not respond. I guess I had blacked out while lying down and I don't remember any of it... sadly, this is the third time this has happened in the past two weeks. Once last Wednesday in my English class, once Sunday morning on my church floor, and Monday night. I don't remember any of it and it freaks me out. It makes me scared to drive anywhere, it makes me scared to do guard or go running. It's no longer just my blood sugars anymore, I have those as under control as they're gonna get. It's just I keep blacking out. I've only told my mother about one of them because when I tell her I get a lecture on how "it's probably just stress, I'm probably over reacting, you're just making this all up to get attention." So I've stopped telling her. I started a folder and I write down EVERYTHING, from what I feel, to what people tell me happened after the fact. I have a neurologist app. on the 22nd because it's gotten so bad, and the school nurse is considering pulling me from color guard until I have the approval of the doctor to come back, I asked her not to because we have to competitions left and they're both circut finals and I can't let my team down. But it really does scare me and I really don't want to do guard. The fact that I can't remember what's happening to myself freaks me out. The only semi-good thing is every time I did blackout about five minutes before it's happening I feel my head filling up with water, don't ask me how that feels because I honestly can't explain it, but people know when I complain about my head filling with water I NEED to go to the nurse or not be alone. Hopefully we figure out what's wrong soon and I can move on with my life because this is becoming pretty annoying.

Keep your head and your spirits up,
Ellie <3      

When I'm Gone

      Because I like singing and this is a cool song thing.. I thought I would share. :) Have a great day!

Soo.. I Met A Guy Today

   
     This is not about what you think. Okay, yea it does involve a guy, and it does involve us talking, but it doesn't involve us talking like THAT. As we all know from my Tagging experience before, I tend to end up in some interesting situations. Which was no different this time.
     My best friend Maddy and I were trying to find something to do out of the cold (well, cold for us I mean there's no blizzards here right now, but 42 degrees at 3 in the after noon is cold for Vegas.). Anyways, we decided to hit up Laser Tag. Maddy and I were buying our tickets when I noticed a bracelet on the guy's wrist. The logo looked familiar, but I couldn't get a good look at it so we went on and played our game. When we were paying for our second game I noticed the bracelet again, except this time I got a better glance at it. It was for the "You Can Do This Project". Which is an amazing project that you can find more about here. This website has been a HUGE inspiration to me from the very beginning and it was cool to see someone else who knew about it. I told him I liked his bracelet and that it was cool he supported it. He said thanks and handed us our tickets and then glanced back up at me. "Wait, how do you know about this?" He asked, I then told him how I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia about two and a half years ago and how blogging about it made me feel less alone and hopeless. He told me he was diagnosed with type one about eleven years ago and how he had felt that way before as well. We talked for a while and then he had to get back to work he gave me a fist bump (because high fives are so last year) and then we went our separate ways. I may be facing hypoglycemia alone, but there's a hole army of people out there who have my back, who knows what it's like, who are going through something similar and it was cool getting a chance to talk with him about what he goes through and how he manages to keep moving forward. I'm so thankful for the You Can Do This Project because it's connected me to someone who I would have otherwise never met. He encouraged me to keep my head up and made me feel less alone and hopeless, and I hope some day I can do the same for someone else just like me.

Keep your head up and never forget that You Can Do This,
Ellie <3

I'm A Little Stuck

     I woke up last night at 10:15 and I had no clue where I was or who I was, I could feel my legs but the numbing sensation in them was freaking me out, my head was pounding and the moon light from my window made my head hurt worse, I was nauseous  dizzy, confused and the balance in my body was zero when I stood I fell back to the floor. Now looking back on it I probably should have gone to the ER, but at the time I didn't know who I was. The worst part is I remember it. I wasn't low, I'm pretty sure my mom checked that. I just wanted to sleep in the bathroom because like I said I felt so sick and I wanted a cool washcloth. I got out of bed and fell back to the floor (gracefully I hope). While I was lying on the floor face first I realized that I was in my own room, I remember everything. I got up again and used the wall to help me balance all the way to the kitchen. How I made it there I will never know. My mom came out to ask me if I was okay and I stood in the kitchen hunched over with a hand on the counter and the other on my forehead and I started sobbing. I was embarrassed, scared, confused and super spinny. She escorted me back to bed and gave me some Tylenol. I couldn't communicate to her what I was feeling. I couldn't tell her that all ten toes were now nonexistent  that the hot flashes were getting worse, that I woke up not knowing who or where I was. She stood there for a few more minutes and then left me with the dog who didn't leave my side the rest of the night.
     This is has been going on for the past month. Sometimes it's linked to blood sugar, but most the time it isn't. I've seen my doctor again and he referred me to a cardiologist again who literally asked me why I was there. None of the episodes look like heart problems. Everyone thinks that these are mini seizures. They think there is something wrong with my brain and the way it sends waves or something. They also think that if it is seizures my blood sugar could be effected when my brain waves are interrupted for what ever reason. I'm so confused and every appointment is just another dead end. This is all starting to get really frustrating and discouraging. It's not even the fact that I'm having the episodes, it's the fact that when they do happen there's nothing I can do. I just have to ride it out and hope it turns out okay in the end. Which sucks big time because I feel like hell when this happens. Do you have any suggestions on any of this? Because I'm stuck.

Keep your head up and always try to remember where you are,
Ellie <3 
P.S Just for laughs video: 

  

This Post Doesn't Really Have a Title..

     I have an English project I have to do. I have to use the fact that I am an out-of-the-box thinker and I have to describe how it feels to be me, but it can't be an essay and a video is to cliche and my friend Sully is already doing something with glitter paper and we all know you can't have two people using glitter paper on the same project. So now I have to think of something very creative and out-of-the-boxy. Normally I'm really good at thinking up projects but I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing for this one, which is truly no bueno situation. Any suggestions like at all?? Because this is a really BIG project and I kinda need a good grade on it.

Keep your head up and your grades up as well,
Ellie <3

P.S while you're helping me with my homework find the humor in this pictures, because really there is a lot of humor. :D

    

   one more because you know you want too..


So maybe not all of them were "funny" persay, but they did make you smile. :)

The Polar Express

     The holidays have always been my favorite. My family has so many traditions that you can't help but smile at. One of them is going to the Polar Express in Ely, Nevada the first weekend of December EVERY year. This year we had a group of 23 that met up and dominated the small town all weekend. It was fantastic. Here are just a few pictures from the weekend, more may come soon. I hope you enjoy the laugh. :D 

These are all the "kids" that were with us at the Ely craft fair. The oldest Patrick pointing at Santa was trying to tickle him, Santa wasn't to thrilled with that though. 

This is Victoria, Taylir, and I waiting to get on the train to go to the North Pole! 

This is my Father's Maybelline look as he calls it and a creepy statue behind him, I mean look at the smile on that guy it horrible.  

Cutting down our Christmas tree in the fridged cold... 

Some family members and I :) If you look at the girl in the yellow we have matching PJ's cheapest  pj's I've ever bought. 

Our Christmas card picture this year. Aren't we adorable?

The Polar Express is part of our Christmas tradition, what are some of yours? Merry Christmas season everyone! Keep your head up and the Christmas spirit alive,

Ellie <3