Sunday, October 2, 2011
My lows have taken a trip to the gun show and are now packing heat. Little lows like in the 70s (my normal is 80+) are becoming a lot worse than just the usual shaky unfocused lows I'm used to. I've also been getting anxiety attacks with them. I'll be 72 at a game and drink a juice but all of a sudden my legs won't work and my brain kinda shuts off and I go limp for a while. This happened yesterday, but it was different yesterday. It was me in the band room with all of the color guard and two parents who had no idea what to do if someone were to ever pass out in there care. Heck they didn't even know my name. I sat down and started drinking my juice but, once again my brain shut off. I remember people asking me are you okay? Do you need me to go get water, Are you going to die. For some reason their first thought is death and that annoys the crap out of me. The anxiety kicks in when I know I'm alone in the situation. All of them know I have hypoglycemia, all of them know not to make me get up and move when I'm in this state, but none of them know what to do. They depend on me to tell them and yesterday as hard as I tried I couldn't get a simple word to come out of my mouth. I had to wait it out and just see where it went. And that waiting game is what scares me. Because those seconds I can't speak for myself are critical seconds between life and death sometimes and that's a thought I won't let myself think. I've decided on Monday I'm going to go in and talk to the captains about what to do that way they won't be completely dependent on me telling them what to do when I'm in this situation. Because for me that's a scary thought.
Posted by Ellie at 8:00 AM