As for my near death experience. For someone who goes through these often you may look at me with furrowed eye brows and call me crazy, but for me this is scary and I don't even remember it all. It started Sunday morning, I was out with a friend on a go cart and everything started to seem a little blurry and every jolt over a bump seemed to make my head spin and my toes tingle. I knew that feeling all to well. I had her rush back to camp and I set out to make a hot dog. As soon as I took it off the girl my uncle announced they were going on a jeep ride and I was welcome to come. I was dying to go so I grabbed my kit and my belt bag (a tiny little bag that straps to my belt, I keep 6 glucose tabs, a tootsie roll, and my emergency ID in there). We headed off. I ate the rest of my lunch in the car as we scaled hills and such in the jeep. About an hour later we stopped at a mountain. I was so excited I took off up the mountain. When I reached the top I started to notice the all to familiar tingliness, the dizziness, and my anxiety was so high I couldn't keep my grip against the rock. I went back to the car and tested. When it finally beeped I looked down at first I was seeing doubles it looked like an E6 at first and I was so mad, but my cousin came over and read it to me. I'll never forget the shakiness in her voice... "Umm that says 46. Is that okay?" I panicked. 46? I just ate a fricking hot dog how is this logically possible. I remember shakily eating 5 glucose tabs and a tootsie roll and focusing on not passing out which I so desperately wanted to do. Next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed in the trailer with an alarm going off that says retest your BG. What the heck happened was the first thing I thought of. I was scared on what happened. My mom came up and asked me if I was feeling better. My answer was "I guess so, I don't remember how I felt before, but I feel fine now." I told her I was hungry and she said I just ate 3/4 of another hot dog about a half hour ago, that I spilt ketchup all over me and that I started bawling. I don't remember any of that... like at all. Those are the moments that scare me. Those are the moments that make me want to scream. Those are the moments that remind me every second that I am blessed to be living.
Just one of the things I find oddly ironic one of the best weekends I've had in a long time and I don't even remember part of it. Sad huh?
Keep your head up and your memory intact,
Ellie <3
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