Suspiciously Dressed Female

   

      I know I haven't posted lately, it's been super crazy and their really hasn't been much to blog about story wise... until today...
     I'm walking again!! It's been 50 some odd days since my last seizure! WOO HOO!! Every day is another day closer to having this whole mess behind me. It will always be with me, but it will be on the back burner of my brain which I can deal with. I'm starting to get back to normal. Which is a funny word to think about because I haven't been "normal" for almost ten months. I'm able to have alone time again with out someone constantly with me 24/7. And a big this is I'm able to walk by myself again! I'm allowed to walk to work which is a big step for me since the last time I walked to work two guys found me twitching on the side walk. So in between my house and my work is a park and there's a four foot wall almost all the way around this park. So everyday when I walk to work I hop the wall, if I were to walk around the park and not hop the wall it would add an extra 1/4 mile to my walk and I'm going to admit I'm lazy. So anyway I've been hopping this fence since August, minus when I wasn't walking. About 1/2 a mile past this fence a cop car pulls up next to me. He rolls down his window, I take out my ear buds. He steps out of his car and asked me what I was doing. I said I was walking to work. He asked me where I was coming from. I answered home. He asked me if he could see some ID. I pulled out my ID and asked why he had stopped me. He said "We got a call from someone saying a suspiciously dressed female was hopping fences." Let's keep in mind that I'm wearing black work pants and a Star Wars shirt, if that's suspicious I'm concerned. I was like "soo you assume that's me right?" He nodded. I explained to him that the fence I hopped was the park fence... and public park. And that I was just being lazy and didn't want to walk all the way around. He asked me a few other standard questions. About five minutes later he handed me back my ID and started to get back in the car. "Soo about the fence, am I allowed to continue to hop it?" I asked because I would like to know for the next time this happens. "Yup. Have a good day at work." And then he drove away. I got the cops called! This has happened once before walking home from the bus stop but not because I was hopping the fence, because I was super low and looked like I was drunk.

Keep your head up and don't hop fences,
Ellie <3
   

72 Hour EEG (Day 3)

The bed head/matted down/sticky mummble of hair picture.
(This pic was taken at 3am soo I have no idea why it's green.)  

     

I know you all were waiting on pins and needles to find out what happened today. Well, it hasn't gone all to fantastic. I reached my breaking point late last night and I'm not guaranteeing all the wires will stay intact tonight... I might be pulling them out soon. It's not that this is painful or anything it's just not fun. It's itchy and

My new cover all the wires so they don't fall off look.

hot and the gauze fell off last night so it's a sticky handkerchief hair mess thing with wires. It's not attractive. I slept with exposed wires last night because the gauze fell off and I slept over at my Grandparent's house and I couldn't find anything to rewrap my head with so I slept without it covered. Terrible idea. They use a special glue to keep all the wires attached to my head and between the head glue and the gauze I've managed to work up the worst bed head/matted down/ sticky mummble of hair you have ever seen and it's not pleasant to have attached to me right now. So that was fun. Because I didn't get much sleep at all last night I've been really tired, cranky, and moppy all day which hasn't been fun for the people around me. My mom and I went and got our nails done which felt really good and they're really sparkly now. And then I just kinda sat around literally doing nothing. And let me be the first to tell you this, but sitting there doing nothing

My sparkly pink nails in honor of Valentines Day...
(it took 7 tries to get this picture.) -____- 

and giving yourself the opportunity to think about how not enjoyable this EEG is, is what pushes you over the ledge. I just broke down in tears. There was now consoling me, or calming me down I just needed to cry so I did. Something very therapeutic for me is cooking/baking so I made food, dinner to be exact. Than I baked 24 cupcakes and 16 chocolate chip cookies. And then I locked myself in my room to stare at the wall again because I obviously didn't learn my lesson the first time. I am so done with this EEG thing I can't even put it into words how annoyed I am. So I'm going to go to sleep now and hope that tomorrow morning takes a while to get here so I can just sleep and not think about nasty hair and the wires lost with in it.

Keep your head up and keep yourself busy,
Ellie <3

And for your enjoyment and to keep you smiling... A CAT PICTURE!! 

Your welcome.

72 Hour EEG (Day 1)

     I was opposed to this test from the very beginning. I had a 24 hour EEG done in August, the first time I was admitted to the hospital. An EEG is basically charts your brain waves and anything abnormal is considered "seizure activity". My neurologist said that the 24 hour EEG showed no signs of my episode being a seizure. So I don't understand why we're redoing this test, but for a longer period of time. It's also frustrating that I'm now 5 days episode free, so if I continue on this trend of no episodes this test will show NOTHING because they won't have anything to look at. Any who an EEG isn't painful it's just extremely uncomfortable. My head is now really heavy which is an unusual feeling that I'm not a fan of. Also because my head is wrapped up in so much gauze and glue with tape or something my head over heats really really fast. It's SUPER itchy too and I can't itch it because it's like the Great Wall Of Gauze all up on my head. Now although this thing is super ugly I'm still going out with this bad boy on. I will not let this hold me back. Laser tag?? I'm doing it. Movies?? Done. Hanging out on the Las Vegas Strip?? It's happening. I wear my Despicable Me knit hat over the ugly a$$ gauze and I pretend like it's not there. I highly recommend if you get a 72 hour EEG and it's safe for you to go out plan as much as you possibly can to entertain yourself. It helps take your mind of the wires that are connected to you. I just keep telling myself I can do this... maybe.

Keep your head up, because you can do this,
Ellie <3

Super ugly gauze wrap that makes your head itchy.

All my wires. They're like four feet. *Tip* If you do get an EEG place the whole thing in like a draw string back pack. That way all the wires and the pack that comes with it are contained. Trust me it helps. 

I put my minion beanie over it when I go out of the house. I find more people focus on how awesome my beanie is than the wires sticking out of my brain. 

Another Story For The Books

     This school year I decided to do online schooling as it just was more flexible with all my episodes, doctors appointments, and other stuff. But I also go for one hour a day to my old school to participate in color guard. Today was my third day doing this and because of today's events... probably my last for a while. I got there a few minutes early so I used this free time to use the restroom when I was finished I set my backpack down so I could get out my phone. That was the last thing I remember. I woke up to the school nurse, two campus monitors, the school police, the dean, and a math teacher surrounding me yelling things into radios, shaking me trying to get me to answer questions I'm 100% sure a few seconds after that I went back into another tweaking sesh because the next time I woke up the fire department was prepping me for an IV and setting me up on oxygen. Then for a third time I fell back into the darkness of a seizure. From what people told me they started me on the anti-seizure stuff in my IV and finger popped me out of it (there's a pressure point that causes pain which I respond to and wake up). I remember waking up and ripping the oxygen tube thing out of my nose and they also said I wasn't cooperating, well I had good reason it kind of scares a person to wake up with a needle in their arm, tubes in their nose, and people yelling at them to "stay with me, keep your eyes open, talk to me sweetie...". I finally calmed down and let them do their thing. I don't know what stuff they put in my IV because I was soo loopy it wasn't even funny. Unfortunately I had to go to ER because well, I'm not really sure why but they told my mom we had no choice. So they lifted me up on the gurney and wheeled me out... in the middle of first lunch... with over 200 kids staring at me... and I probably looking stoned as heck because like I said the drugs made me so loopy. They took me to the ER and discharged me with in two hours with no new news. But that's not even the fun part. My best friend texted me asking how I was feeling. I asked her how she knew her response: "I heard you O.D in the girls bathroom." Yes folks there is now a rumor going around that school that a girl O.D in the girls bathroom and had to be taken to the hospital. The fun part is the girl they're talking about is me. She had heard about it and asked her sister who has first lunch what happened and her sister told her that "Elizabeth must of had an episode in the bathroom and was taken to the hospital" So yea... I can now check over dosing in the girls bathroom off my list and I didn't even actually do it. As to how I feel about the rumors I'm not really sure. I find it funny right now because I know what happened and it's funny that kids can take a seizure and turn it into overdose in a matter of 30 minutes and I'm sure it will get annoying soon if my parents let me go back to guard because I'll have to answer questions and be pegged as a druggie and I don't even go to that school anymore. I guess this is just another bump in the road. :)

Keep your head up and DO NOT overdose in the girls bathroom,
Ellie <3

This Is Becoming The Norm.

 

     I got the paramedics called again. This is starting to become the norm. Apparently I blacked out on the floor at Khols and a lovely patron found me while looking for her daughter. I was unresponsive, breathing, and lying face first on the ground. They called 911. I was indeed at Khols alone and my mom wasn't answering any of the calls. When the paramedics arrived I was almost out of the woods, I was still kind of reoreintating myself, but I could respond and answer questions and move my legs. It makes it a lot easier to go through stuff like this when the people who are taking care of you are in a good mood. The paramedics that responded were awesome. They took my vitals and asked me the normal questions, I've become an old pro at explaining what normally happens and handing over the emergency sheet, which once again they we're really excited to see. They said most adults aren't even this prepared so I feel special. My parents still weren't answering so he was like, we'll just wait here til they decide to get off the couch and come pick you up. Like I said the paramedics were awesome this time. This is starting to become the norm. I black out, the paramedics are called, and then we sit and wait... and wait... and wait for my parents to actually respond to any of the messages. I'm becoming a pro at pretending at keeping it all together when I wake up and reorientate instead of mentally breaking down because I'm embarrassed like I used to. I told my mom I want to go back to square one and start from the beginning. I've been noticing that this is affecting my blood sugar as well. I spike to almost 200 about a half hour before it happens and then drop into mid 50's low 60's when I wake up. I want to talk to my doctor. I don't want my mom to talk to them anymore because I don't think she's getting the job done. I'm taking over this rodeo and I don't plan on stopping until I get an answer, because as much as I'm becoming a pro, I don't want this to become the norm.

Keep your head up and keep it together,
Ellie <3

Part 2 Of My Mystery Medical Condition

  I'm trying not to let the constant black outs slow me down, but it is. They're impossible to ignore, they're starting to get in my way. Twice just this week I've either almost been kicked out or was kicked out of some type of fun activity. Which sucks by the way, especially for the people I go with. My brother loves sky zone. And so do I. It's like this warehouse just full of wall to wall trampolines, and foam pits, and dodge ball, it's pretty much one giant trigger for me I've discovered. Any ways, I noticed the symptoms of a black out coming on. I got myself off of the trampolines and sat down on the ground, now that's the last thing I remember, but apparently the story gets better. From what I was told when I woke up is that I sat down on the ground where I wasn't supposed to and the manager asked me to move down to the benches. Apparently I began arguing with her and didn't move. I guess while she was checking on the game of dodge ball I blacked out on the ground. They left me there.. which is exactly what you're not supposed to do by the way. But, they did get my brother who surprisingly knew what to do. I guess I came back about two minutes later. None of them were phased and they gave me a free water (which my brother drank -_-) and they said if this happens again I would have to leave. Which sucks because that means my brother would have to leave too, and he love Sky Zone. Well that was the last of that day's black outs. Then my best friend and I went to Wet 'N Wild for a day in the sun. All was going surprisingly really well. I hadn't gotten dizzy, I was able to keep up with her we were having an awesome time, and then everything went to poop. And I mean that in the worst possible way. We were standing in a line waiting for a tube when I turned to her and said flat out "I'm about to black out." She's seen in happen before, she's used to it, but since it's been happening so frequently we decided to go to first aid. We made it, I kid you not, just. in. time. They sat me down on the cot and called for an EMT, no one was able to respond as they thought I was a minor case and they had a guy who had just had a low blood sugar that caused him to pass out. What they didn't realize was the same thing was about to happen to me. There was an EMT there who had just gotten off and he started freaking out. This is where I lost it. He had me on the finger pulse reader thing, and started asking me questions that I just couldn't answer. My friend was trying to explain what was happening and what was about to happen, and what I needed. I don't remember anything after this, but this is what my friend told me: the EMT then started assessing the situation and taking my vitals. They took my blood sugar which was 108 I think. I took me a while to respond to simple directions. They put me on O2 when I started to take a turn for the worst. They ripped off my bracelet to call my mom, I'm so thankful I had it on. But she didn't answer. Apparently at this point they were just trying to keep me awake and then I fell forward. I will forever thank them for this because that would have resulted in a concussion, but they caught me before I fell over and onto my face. Apparently I was out for about 15 seconds and I had a record come back time. They took my blood sugar again and apparently it raised concern. Apparently I had all the signs of seizing soon, so they called it. They were going to have me transported. A few seconds after this decision I came back completely. But it was to late they had called 911. Which was fine by me, my parents weren't going to be to happy about it, but in a way I was happy they did. Maybe now, my parents will believe me. Any ways, they started to look for a new contact number. My friend still not freaking out, gotta love her, started calling my father, who said he was on his way. When the fire department arrived I was fully aware and had been getting caught up on what had happened. The main captain was awesome while they were putting me on a full heart monitor and taking my BP and blood sugar he said maybe a water park wasn't the best idea until I was fully diagnosed and had it under control because what if I blacked out under water? I giggled. He rolled his eyes knowing full well that it has happened before. They weren't able to do an EEG on site but they did get a mini EKG in. And I guess my heart would triple beat, he used a more scientific word, but that too raised concerns so it's back to the cardiologist I go. But, they were able to tell my father the glorious words, "she really did have what looks to be a seizure, we recommend we transport her for further observation as this raises a lot of concern." My father said no, but he heard it from a real live fire man that it actually happened. They still had me on O2 when he arrived which also made him believe just a little bit more. They did indeed make me go home because apparently I was a liability to keep on property which I understand completely. So we headed home. My friend drove and I road shut gun. I feel really bad that because of me she had to leave early. But she was awesome the entire time telling them my medical history, all my medications I'm taking (which was cool to know she knows that) and trying to calm the EMT's down, because I guess they weren't expecting to have to call 911 for me. I enjoy scaring the living daylights out of Wet 'N Wild staff, because this is the second time this has happened there. I sent them a thank you card for dealing with me and for their quick response. The lesson I learned from this experience is to ask for help they're there to do just that. I'm glad my friend was there to relay information and I'm glad they didn't hesitate to call 911 it just sucks I had to leave.

Keep your head up and just keep swimming,
Ellie <3

The Joys Of Flying...

I had my headphones in so I couldn't tell you why we were still sitting at the gate, but we were. There was a lady sitting next to me with a pilots uniform on and she looked friendly, but she was on the phone so I was going to ask her why we were still sitting here. I just ducked my head back down and listened to my music. The funny thing was. It felt like we were moving. I looked up and everything was spinning in my right eye and everything was blurry in my left. The buckled sign was still lit so maybe we were in the air.. I don't know my window shade was down. I panicked. TSA made me chuck my emergency water at security because of it's suspicious seal (they also had to pat down my butt and swab my hands so I'm a little confused about them). I didn't know what to do. I just figured I'd roll through the motions. I figured I'd let myself pass out and then be fine. I was so dizzy, the entire right side of my body was numb and at this point I couldn't tell you which way was up and which way was down. I flipped down my tray and laid my head down on my arms like maybe sleeping would help. I could feel my heart ripping out of my chest at a million miles a minute and my breathing intensified. I felt someone place their hand on my back and I looked up in tears at this point. The pilot sitting next to me asked if I had a headache. She saw me crying and I said yes and that I needed water so I could take my meds. Just then we were told we were about to taxi back from the gate. She still got up and got me water as I prepped my meds. She said as soon as we take off she would poor it as we were just about to start our accent. She talked so calmly, she kept checking on me, asked me what else she needed to do or if it was just a headache. I handed her my emergency sheet with what's going on because at this point I couldn't form words. She was awesome at making sure I got the water and kept checking on me to make sure I was a) still breathing and b) still knew my name and where I was. Thankfully I got my medication in my system in time and nothing more serious happened because at 13,000 feet or however high we are that can be bad. But I am so thankful Southwest hires such amazing people to work for them, who will go above and beyond what they're only paid today and help others who are in need. She didn't even think twice about helping me. And I'm so thankful she was there. That's just one of the many reasons I try to always fly Southwest. I did email them to compliment them and to pass the message along to this pilot, and I know she probably won't get my email thank you and I did thank her on the plane. But I truly am SO thankful she stepped up to the plate because who knows what would have happened.

Keep your head up and travel safe this summer,
Ellie <3

I Got Wet N' A Little Too Wild

This is our new Wet N' Wild!

     My brother and I got Gold passes to the new Wet N' Wild that opened up about ten minutes from our house. This was our first time actually going and spending a good amount of time there. Before we got out of the car I said "you've heard about my episodes that kind of make me go crazy and forget who I am and sometimes pass out right?" He looked at me and said "Duh you get them once a month.. it's called your period." *connect palm to forehead multiple times here* "No, I'm talking about when I forget who I am and sometimes pass out. If this were to ever happen here. There is no need for paramedics, I just need to take my meds and me monitored until I know where I am, and you need to call mom, her phone number is on the back of my bracelet." Soo you mean we can't ride the water slide? *connect palm to forehead again*
    We were standing in line for a ride and I just felt "off" that off you can't quite explain but you know it's something. About ten minutes later we scream our way down the water slide and exit and I could feel my legs. I kid you not I could not feel my legs. I told my brother to go hop in the wave pool that I was going to go buy another water and run to the restroom and meet him back at the waves. Well, some people just don't understand the point of I'm about to pass out you need to get me help because this guy just stared at me blankly. I ordered a THREE DOLLAR water bottle WHO CHARGES THREE DOLLARS FOR WATER IN THE DESERT?!?! Anyway, I finally get it and ask where the first aid is? "Uhhhhhhhh I don't know this is my fist day here." Is the response I get. I walk over to another lady who has a lifeguard uniform on. I asked her... "It's just over there, make a left....... at this point everything is garbled. I asked her to walk with me. "I'm sorry, I'm on break." Was her response. This is ridiculous. When I finally make it there BY MYSELF the receptionist is sitting behind her desk and two metro officers are sitting in the only two chairs in the small room. I'm now holding myself up with the wall let me add. "I'm about to pass out, I don't need 911 I just need help and to sit." Both the metro just start freaking out like calm down sirs I'm sure this is not the worst thing you've seen all day. The receptionist lady takes me back to a different room which is finally the first aid room and they have me sit on the cot. Where they watch me take my meds. They then call the EMT for Wet N' Wild, they apparently have they're own which is good to know. He came in and checked my vitals, made sure I didn't have a brain injury (I didn't), asked me the normal questions who are you, do you know where you are, president's name, who are you with... and that's when I remembered my brother. "Ehh he'll be fine. And if you're really worried about him we can send one of those cops out to go grab him from the pool." He also asked me one last question. "You've told me this is migraines any other medical conditions I should know about.. I answered hypoglycemia." I don't know why I haven't had a major blood sugar problem in a good month just upper 50's low 60's are the worst. "Have you tested recently?" I shook my head. He escorted me back over to my stuff and had me grab my kit and then walked back with me to the first aid room. The all to familiar *beep beep* and then it happened, 37 flashed on the screen. I know the rescue meds I'm taking and the one I took at the park today caused my bg to drop a little but I've never seen it do something like that yet."Do you want me to get you something for that?" he asked hesitantly. "Do I have a choice" I asked more sarcastically than anything. He shook his head and chuckled. His supervisor came in later and told me jokingly I'd have to get my left leg surgically removed.. that kind of lightened the mood. They finally let me leave 20 minutes later with my bg back up at 84 and my migraine gone. I didn't see the EMT again, but I kept running into the supervisor and he kept pretending to be shocked I still had my left leg. -_- There really is no moral to this story. It's more of a wow, that was kinda scary more than anything story. My brother still thinks I was in the bathroom the entire 30 minutes I was gone, but I don't think he realizes it was 30 minutes. Just another day in the life I guess. :)

Keep your head up and just keep swimming,
Ellie <3

I Finally Got What I Came For

     Today was my neurologist appointment. The one that was supposed to tell me once again there was nothing wrong with me, the one that was supposed to blow me off once again as someone who will grow out of it, the doctor that I was constantly told "not to hold my breath for." I got an answer. Finally for once I got what I came for. I got an answer.
     I got a diagnoses, a solid plan of attack, and a positive report overall. I was diagnosed with something so simple everyone thinks it's almost sad no one thought of this before. It doesn't explain the hypoglycemia, but I've come to terms with that fact. I'd much rather have to treat a low blood sugar than be found on the floor by the janitor. The neurologist spent 20 minutes talking to me asking me questions about every episode reading the journal I brought with me explaining everything he took the time to listen and I don't think anybody who hasn't been in the same position as me will ever understand how much that meant to me. He did an evaluation and handed me a packet. I'm officially diagnosed with Acute Confusional Migraines. Migraines, that's all it was. The blood vessels in my brain were constricting and I was firing something or other way to fast and my brain can't keep up with it. Well, that's what I got from his explanation. It causes literally every symptom I've been getting. Blurry vision when ever I'm trying to read something, jelly legs, shakiness  dizziness, nausea which has caused me to throw up,disorientation, EVERYTHING. Other people who have also had it describe one of they're symptoms as they're head filling up with air or water.. my mom thought I was just making that up! It's real! It causes people to forget their names, what they were doing, or where they need to go. It literally covers every symptom I have felt with this, including the blackout spells, fainting, and not being able to remember what's happened to me! He gave me a prescription for medication (don't ask me what it's called cuz I got no clue) but I take it when ever I feel the first symptom like it has to be with in the first two-three minutes and within fifteen minutes I'm supposed to magically feel 10x better. And you know what, I believe him. He's says it will help if I rest after I take one, but if I would like to and I am able to I can return to my normal activities and it doesn't cause drowsiness. He also gave me, I kid you not, "headache packet" it has a calendar and every time I get an episode I have to look back and write down things that might have triggered it. Hopefully soon, I will have a personalized list of do's and don'ts to prevent more of these migraines to happen. No one understands how happy I am to finally have a diagnoses and to have a plan. I came home and cried for a good 20 minutes because I was so relieved. He is ordering and EEG and an MRI just to be absolute sure I'm not epileptic or anything more serious, but this is it. This is the answer I've been fainting for over three months for. This. Is. It. I feel so relieved, so happy, so free. I can finally be myself again. I finally have my life back. Hopefully the medications work like they're supposed to and this is all solved. I finally got what I came for, and it feels amazing.

Now that I can proceed with guard with out passing out I'll be able to kick
more major butt at competitions! :D

Keep your head up and always look forward for tomorrow,
Ellie <3

My Head Fills With Water

     

 
       It was a water break. I felt fine, stressed, but other than that fine. I walked out of the gym and into the bathroom to wet a paper towel. Like every other water break I placed the cool towel on my head, rested my feet parallel up against the wall and laid on the floor in an attempted 90 degree angle, it's how I calm down and decompress. When the break is over someone comes out and collects me and we begin practice again. It's a routine, one that I'm used to, one that works for me. Well, at least until it doesn't work for me.
     On Monday night I was laying there, and the last thing I remember is my head filling up with water. The next thing I remember is my guard instructor and a janitor standing over me asking me to many questions waay to fast. I at the time had no idea who they were or where I was or why anyone was standing over me. My guard instructor told me I was a school for practice and them helped me up and back into the gym while I sat there pretty much crying the rest of the practice. When practice was over I got in my car and drove home. Still unsure of what happened, still not feeling back up to par, still crying. I didn't tell my mom, but I did tell Mrs. M my school nurse because now I'm scared to go to guard. I got the whole story Tuesday afternoon when my friend Maddy said she came out and nudged me a couple times (apparently I never responded) she went to get my instructor and while she was gone a janitor was sweeping past me and asked me if I was okay, he too went to find my instructor because I did not respond. I guess I had blacked out while lying down and I don't remember any of it... sadly, this is the third time this has happened in the past two weeks. Once last Wednesday in my English class, once Sunday morning on my church floor, and Monday night. I don't remember any of it and it freaks me out. It makes me scared to drive anywhere, it makes me scared to do guard or go running. It's no longer just my blood sugars anymore, I have those as under control as they're gonna get. It's just I keep blacking out. I've only told my mother about one of them because when I tell her I get a lecture on how "it's probably just stress, I'm probably over reacting, you're just making this all up to get attention." So I've stopped telling her. I started a folder and I write down EVERYTHING, from what I feel, to what people tell me happened after the fact. I have a neurologist app. on the 22nd because it's gotten so bad, and the school nurse is considering pulling me from color guard until I have the approval of the doctor to come back, I asked her not to because we have to competitions left and they're both circut finals and I can't let my team down. But it really does scare me and I really don't want to do guard. The fact that I can't remember what's happening to myself freaks me out. The only semi-good thing is every time I did blackout about five minutes before it's happening I feel my head filling up with water, don't ask me how that feels because I honestly can't explain it, but people know when I complain about my head filling with water I NEED to go to the nurse or not be alone. Hopefully we figure out what's wrong soon and I can move on with my life because this is becoming pretty annoying.

Keep your head and your spirits up,
Ellie <3      

Only I Could Master Going Low At a Place Like This

Before I begin this is NOT A POLITICAL POST I PROMISE!!!! It just takes place on Election Day.
      Through my school, I found out that on election day I had an opportunity to work at the polls. And in Nevada we get the day off so I jumped on the opportunity to be apart of the voting process even though I'm not old enough to vote. I was supposed to bring as much food as I was not allowed to leave the polling place during the day. I showed up to our polling which was at the fire station just down the road. We were showed where the kitchen was as that would be where we were taking our breaks and the fire fighters were all really nice. The polls opened and we were off and running. Everything was going smoothly until my five o'clock break. I tested and looked at the 36. No symptoms at all. I took a bag of crackers into the kitchen and began nibbling at them. I was starring at the wall when the firemen came back. One guy looked at me and asked if I was okay, I just kinda looked at him and didn't answer. He snapped his fingers in front of my face and asked me again. All I could really choke out was "I'm just low." And I went quiet again. I was now half way through my second fruit snack and he was still just sitting in the kitchen glancing over his shoulder every once and a while checking on me. Because if there's one great thing about going low on election day, it being in a fire station at the same time. I started shifting back into life and he started asking me questions. "How low were you?" 36. "What is your target range?" At stuff like this between 80-120 but it's more important to keep it above 80. "How many carbs did you have?" A total of 45g. "What are you now?" 46. He didn't say anything when I got up and left a few seconds later. It was a bad night with a very stubborn string of lows. But, you bet I did amazing showing people from a distance how to use the voting machines. So thank you to the fire man who looked an awful lot like this guy:

Keep your head up and your political posts off facebook please,
Ellie <3

P.S~ sorry it took you guys three tries to eat dinner with out having an alarm sounding.

I don't Think You Know

   
     I was sitting dying on the floor at a Hunger Games themed birthday party... We just played around of nonviolent Hunger Games and I was hot, sweaty, sticky, tired, and low. I have been all week. Ever since Wednesday when I dropped into the 20's at school again. It's been kicking my butt lately. But anyways, I was laying on the floor under the AC trying to catch my breath and regain stability in my legs. As I was laying there a lady appeared probably from somewhere, but I swear she poofed out of nowhere. She asked me if I was alright and I said yes just a little tired from running haywire in the sun. She got really close to my face, maybe even a little to close, and whispered "it's okay I know what you're going through." Ummm okay?? I turned to her and asked "what do you think is wrong?" I was trying to be respectful be polite, but it really just wasn't happening. "Oh you know it's not a party you are throwing and you're not the main person and you're feeling left out. It's okay, I may not agree with how you're feeling, but I understand." Umm NO YOU DON'T!! I didn't say that of course, that would be rude, but seriously I've never met you before and this is one of the first things you say to me? Really? "I'm actually laying here alone and not outside with the rest of the party because I feel like I am about to pass out, and my blood sugar is low and I just need to sit out for a few." I said nicely, quietly, discreetly. She wasn't going for it. "Oh I know how that feels too, I watched a show on TV and one of the characters was diabetic." At this point I had lost all level headedness. Oh no, I was about to blow. "I'm sorry, but watching a TV show doesn't even begin to tell you what I'm going through right now." She kept talking but I tuned her out. I was done with the conversation, she wasn't getting anything I explained it was for the better that I stopped talking. I've since been thinking.. there's a lot of people who don't understand.
-I try so hard to participate in party games, but with a blood sugar of 40 that's just not an option.
-I can't see ANYTHING when I am low, the vision just isn't there.
-my attitude goes right out the window I'm a lifeless corpse waiting for something to happen so I can be functional again.
- The anxiety attacks that I have become familiar with after a low makes me cry, shake, freak out and I've learned that leaving the room is my best option.
People don't understand that I can't control what happens when I'm low, I have no power against my body... and it sucks. When your day starts off at exactly 100 and then at 1:30 you're 79 and then at 3:00 you're 42 and then you're 90 at 4:30 and back to 50 in 20 minutes you just want to scream. You can't control it and no most of the times people don't understand this. It's beyond frustrating that I have to deal with these lows and the anxiety and I am trying SOO hard to better control my blood sugars and to be healthy people just don't understand this.
Keep your head up and it screwed on tight,
Ellie <3

Why Are We Calling Your Mother?

   
      I walked up to the nurse for the first time my feet dragging, hands shaking, head in a cloud. I plop my bag on the chairs and walk over to the counter with my bag in hand. I prick my finger and look over at the Mrs. K the FASA with a dead look on my face. "You're low aren't you?" She asked looking over at me.
"Yup. 44." I answered putting my kit back in my back pack. I sat down on the chair and began slowly munching on my Oreo Thins (Goodness I love those things). 15 minutes later I test again, "54." I reported to Mrs. M. I'm not allowed to leave the office unless I'm 70. I ate a granola bar hoping it would push me back into the safe zone so I could continue on with my crappy day. After 15 minutes I tested again (ode the joys) I looked down at the screen to see a 48. Why it went back down I will never know. Mrs. M looked at the number and said drink this and handed me two kaprisuns. 10 minutes after that I tested again at a 59. "Can I please just go to class? It's math and I'm missing notes and all that jazz." I asked. She let me go as long as she walked me there and I came back during the next passing period. So I did, I came back and I tested just like always. "68." I reported zipping up the case.
"Why isn't it going up? Am I gonna have to call your mother?" Mrs. M fake threatened handing me another juice box.
"Why are we calling your mother?" A school police asked as I sat down in my chair. He was serious too. If Mrs. M hadn't of explained to him the situation and why I looked drunk and high and all out of sorts he probably would have. "Oh so that's why you look so drunk and stoned." He said after the shpeel. I then told him the story of me walking home from the bus stop and being pulled over by our neighborhood cop because I was stumbling and acting funny. He just sat there and looked at me. Now I'm sure he'll be asking more questions every time I pass him in the hallway too, but then again I guess I'm used to that.

Keep your head up and you blood sugar higher,
Ellie <3

I Need To Get Over This

Let's just use this cat as a visual reference to how I am when a day like this happens.
Now that you can see it, please feel free to continue reading today's post.  

   
      Today at like nine I felt the usual: shakes, dizziness, no concept of time, space, anything for that matter. I test like normal and I freak out when at 30 something flashes on the screen. I mean of course it would, it's only the fifth day of school. By default I drink a juice, down a fruit snack packet, and eat a smarties. I guess now I'm looking pale, and higher than... *enter a metaphor or simile for high here* When the end of my next class came I did the annoying part of being low, I tested again. I had shot up to a whopping 58. *enter exasperated sigh here*. A 58 wasn't low enough that I wasn't concerned and it wasn't high enough to be happy with so I sulked on with my day. Lunch came and I wasn't hungry, I had a headache, was tired, and just ready to be done with the week. So I bought some water, took Tylenol, and tried not to snap at anybody doing anything stupid while I was in this state. A few people bugged me about eating because they knew I was low earlier, but I just wasn't in the mood. I could have cared less about the consequences of not eating at that time. After lunch I go to tech theater, I mean of course today would be the day we go up to the sound booth and onto the catwalks.*Enter yet another exasperated sigh here,* so I drug my dizzy and out-of-sorts butt up the stairs to learn about technical things. When the final bell rang I felt beat like, I literally felt that I couldn't physically hold myself up anymore. I walked into the band room and sat down on the floor. I tested to see if I was decent enough to drive home, oh no... It had to be a flat out 50. So I trudged around school with another fellow guardie and waited for the smarties to kick in before I drove home.
     So now that you've heard the story let me explain the lessons that I learned from this:
1. If you're 30 something you need to go visit the nurse, no matter how much you hate missing class a 30 something is NOT OKAY to be walking around with.
2. If you're still low after the first time you treat it's probably a good time to get more carbs in you.
3. I don't eat lunch at school... ever... unless I'm really really hungry or low. I NEED to start eating lunch and or eating more of a snack because a water and Tylenol is not going to cut it.
4. I need to stop being stubborn. There were like two people who kept trying to get me to eat, but I wouldn't swallow my stupid pride and start eating. Because I'm an independent person and I don't like to be told what to do. So if you were one of those people today... Sorry I was such a jerk.
5. I need to get over this, this not caring about the consequences of not eating, or treating, or caring. Because this is my life, my health on the line and there's not a lot of margin to screw around with. I need to start paying attention and being smarter about my choices.
If there's one thing I learned today it's to:
Keep your head up and press on,
Ellie <3

Oh hallelujah!

I was left to walk across a field in Nebraska alone because my brother talked my parents into driving away as a prank. Thank goodness it was only a few hundred feet. :) 

      Where to begin? Should I start with the fact that I successfully made it through my first week of work? Nope, you probably won't care? Should I begin with how awful it is to pack for a two week vacation and not having enough shorts or test strips to cover it all? Nope, that's a whole other story. Should I start with the start of my two week college road trip? Yup, let's start there. 
     I don't know where to begin (did I cover that already?) Well, two Thursdays ago (6/14) I was boarding a plane for Omaha. I know, what could possibly be in Omaha that I would need to visit for two weeks. Well, Omaha was just the start. My family and I were embarking on a two week road trip where we would hit Concordia Seward, Martin Luther College, Concordia St. Paul, Wisconsin Lutheran College, and Concordia Meckwan. All while visiting family, friends, and tourist attractions along the way. There are four people including me who went on this trip. A plane only seats three in a row. So I volunteered to be the odd man out and sit alone a few rows back from the rest of my family. I got comfortable in my seat next to the window and began reading my book waiting for the plane to taxi out of Vegas so I could listen to my Ipod. A few minutes later two older ladies came and sat in the empty seats next to me. I, trying to be polite say hello and held their coats while they buckled in. Why in the world they would need coats in 100 degree Vegas weather beats me, but I held them. About ten minutes later we were prepping for take off, and just to be on the safe side I decided it would be a great time to test. I pulled out my meter and tried to test discreetly, as I have had experiences with testing on a plane before, when randomly the lady sitting in the middle seat leaned over and got a little to close to my ear and whispered "it's okay I do it too." I looked at her awkwardly as she was still in my personal bubble. "I'm sorry?" I answered back. "I test my blood sugar too. Mine isn't anything fancy like yours, but I test myself too!" She sounded excited so I asked the dumbest question I could have possibly came up with "Do you have diabetes?" I should have known that there was a 98% chance she would have said yes, but her answer surprised me. "No." When she said this I was slightly confused why else would she possibly test her blood sugar?? "I have sever hypoglycemia." She said matter-o-factly. Oh hallelujah! We shared stories and I told her about my blog and that was that. I noticed her peaking over at my meter when I tested again about an hour later, and I also noticed the sour look on her face when it flashed back at 52, and then again an hour later with a 60. She knew what it was like. She was on the inside of the same circle I'm stuck in the middle of! We exchanged emails and decided to stay in touch. I told her to have safe travels and that was that. Done.
     This is only day one of traveling. I hope to bring you more enlightenment on what went down soon. :) Hope you all have had a great June!!

Keep your head up and be ready for any conversation,
Ellie <3

Keep Digging

Sometimes I have those days where waking up starts the morning off on a bad foot and the ball just keeps rolling from there.
Yesterday, was one of those days. One of those days where a Luna Bar on the bus is my only breakfast and people are just 20x more annoying than they usually are. Where you're still half asleep and the bus driver thinks you're half dead. Those days where you really don't want to try to balance out meals with blood sugars and activities and days where you really don't give a flying rats patooty. Where cookies is your life line to keep you awake, but ends up almost killing you with a blood sugar of 32 an hour later. -_-. Where the person who usually keeps you smiling doesn't show up to school. And a couple of the people who know you're low and annoying to no end asking you if you're still alive. Obviously I'm still breathing. Let's talk again if for some awful reason I'm not. When you want to throw a shoe at your wall just cuz it seemed like a great idea. When you're a little scared to walk home because you're not as alert as you normally are and then you realize this and switch into hyper vigilance mode. When after you pick up your brother from the bus stop you fall asleep for three hours and when people won't leave you alone so you can fall asleep again you go over to grandma's and fall asleep there. Sometimes, I have those kinds of days.
And then there are days like today, where everything is great you're happy it's all drizzly outside and the weather is beautiful, but your blood sugar doesn't want to cooperate. This has been my week. My numbers have been completely erratic, and very rarely ever over 60 and I can feel it taking its toll on my body. And I don't like that feeling. I'm in a ditch this week and it sucks. I'm not to excited it's only Wednesday. Just wanted to be real with every one.

Keep  your head up and keep digging,
Ellie <3

Getting Through April

April. Not even half way over and I've already done so much. It started off busy and out of town, leading into my glucose tolerance testing (which all came back wonderful so I guess I'm a medical mystery??) Which is when we took a mini field trip to the new Hoover Dam bypass bridge, which is about and hour away from my house. 

In between Arizona and Nevada. 

Back on the Nevada side. 

If you can see him, he's a big horn sheep down by the water. 

 Then came Elizabeth Keane Day. When I received my big Prudential Spirit Of Community award in 2010 the city counsel dedicated April 7th as Elizabeth Keane Day. It was only April 7, 2010, but we like to celebrate it every year... WITH CAKE!!!

 Then came Easter. As always we have a HUGE Easter party with AMAZING food after church, and boy was it delicious!!

Hiding Easter eggs! 

The Easter egg finders. The hat on my head doubled as an
Easter egg basket as I was to lazy to go and find a real one.

 Next came the TourDeCure! I was soo excited to be riding in the 15mile ride. It was super rainy and cold in Vegas that day, and it was a little annoying because it NEVER rains in Vegas and it just decides today is a great day to poor. But, luckily the rain held out and it was beautiful riding weather! It was also really cool to meet people who had diabetes, I've never seen so many insulin pumps and people checking their blood sugar in one place. And it was neat to be able to encourage them in their fight.

Hoola-hooping before the ride. 

At the starting line. That's my nervous smile. 

Off we go! 

Coming up to the rest stop after a super long hill! 

Power drinking water so I could finish the last 7 miles! 

After the rest stop up the next part of the big hill! 

Coming up to the finish line and passing the big red truck.

Crossing the finish line!!
Huge smiles all the way!!! 

Meeting Monica Jackson the Fox 5 news anchor and telling
her I saw her commercial for this even and that's what made me
decide to sign up and ride. 

Doing a sound byte for the Monday morning news on why I decided
to ride and why I was so crazy for not having any training and just
doing it. 

The celebratory Outback lunch. 

It was amazing!!

That rounds out the first half of April. Now we're at the final stretch of school, I get my licsence in a month and turn 16, start my summer job, and more! I'm so excited. Hope your April is filled with laughs and great numbers.

Keep your head up and push on,
Ellie <3