Heck Yeah I did!

     I've had a few good days lately. Sure, I'm still blacking out, sure I'm still frustrated, but by golly I've had a couple "heck yeah!" moments this week. Starting with Thursday.
~Wednesday I had my first seizure free day in one whole month! "Heck yeah I was!"
~Thursday I had my first few blackouts at school, but my teachers and I handled it quite beautifully and none of us freaked out. "Heck yeah we did!"

     On Thursday afternoon my mom and I left for Wyoming to go visit some family members of ours. She does cranial therapy which quite honestly I still don't understand, but it was supposed to help and I'm kinda grasping at straws here so I went. He is a highway patrol officer who was a paramedic before. It was an interesting weekend.

Race Day 

~Well I made it the eight hour trip. "Heck yeah I did!"
~I ran a 5k with out blacking out in the middle of the road. "Double heck yeah I did!
~Woke up at 4:30 am with a blood sugar of 45 and got it back in range with in 30 mins. and woke up with a 95 the next morning. "Heck yeah I did!"
 I also thought I would share some other interesting findings with you.. So this weekend I was just kinda chilling and I blacked out. Well after they found me 15-20 minutes later I went and sat down and I was just like super dizzy. So he decided to check my vitals just to see if we could find anything. So he checked my pupils they responded fine I guess (I don't really know what that necessarily means but I guess it's a good thing.) Anyways, and then he checked my blood pressure, I don't remember what it was, but I don't think it was anywhere out of the ordinary. And then he was just kinda checking my pulse and I blacked out. When I woke up he said that he could feel it happening because my pulse just kinda disappeared. He said it was fine it was staying normal and then all of a sudden it was gone. Just like that, gone. Just for a few seconds and then when I started convulsing like I normally do it came back. The frustrating part is my EKG and echos come back normal every time. Wouldn't they show that? So after this whole glucose this we are for sure going back to the cardiologist and getting me on a Holter Monitor or what ever that's called because by golly that's just weird... and not normal. So yeah that happened.

     Today I also had a endocrinologist appointment with a different endo than the one I went to a few years back.
~Got a CGM put on for three days and have actually kept the food log up to date for more than three hours. "Heck yeah I did!"
    ~Trying to upload the picture of the CGM is gonna be a "heck no I can't", but if you follow me on instagram or twitter I posted it.

    Lately I've discovered that it's good to let yourself celebrate the positives. Because it's not the negatives or the positives that define you. It's how you handle what it thrown your way. What were your wins this week?

Keep your head up and celebrate the positives,
Ellie <3

Another Story For The Books

     This school year I decided to do online schooling as it just was more flexible with all my episodes, doctors appointments, and other stuff. But I also go for one hour a day to my old school to participate in color guard. Today was my third day doing this and because of today's events... probably my last for a while. I got there a few minutes early so I used this free time to use the restroom when I was finished I set my backpack down so I could get out my phone. That was the last thing I remember. I woke up to the school nurse, two campus monitors, the school police, the dean, and a math teacher surrounding me yelling things into radios, shaking me trying to get me to answer questions I'm 100% sure a few seconds after that I went back into another tweaking sesh because the next time I woke up the fire department was prepping me for an IV and setting me up on oxygen. Then for a third time I fell back into the darkness of a seizure. From what people told me they started me on the anti-seizure stuff in my IV and finger popped me out of it (there's a pressure point that causes pain which I respond to and wake up). I remember waking up and ripping the oxygen tube thing out of my nose and they also said I wasn't cooperating, well I had good reason it kind of scares a person to wake up with a needle in their arm, tubes in their nose, and people yelling at them to "stay with me, keep your eyes open, talk to me sweetie...". I finally calmed down and let them do their thing. I don't know what stuff they put in my IV because I was soo loopy it wasn't even funny. Unfortunately I had to go to ER because well, I'm not really sure why but they told my mom we had no choice. So they lifted me up on the gurney and wheeled me out... in the middle of first lunch... with over 200 kids staring at me... and I probably looking stoned as heck because like I said the drugs made me so loopy. They took me to the ER and discharged me with in two hours with no new news. But that's not even the fun part. My best friend texted me asking how I was feeling. I asked her how she knew her response: "I heard you O.D in the girls bathroom." Yes folks there is now a rumor going around that school that a girl O.D in the girls bathroom and had to be taken to the hospital. The fun part is the girl they're talking about is me. She had heard about it and asked her sister who has first lunch what happened and her sister told her that "Elizabeth must of had an episode in the bathroom and was taken to the hospital" So yea... I can now check over dosing in the girls bathroom off my list and I didn't even actually do it. As to how I feel about the rumors I'm not really sure. I find it funny right now because I know what happened and it's funny that kids can take a seizure and turn it into overdose in a matter of 30 minutes and I'm sure it will get annoying soon if my parents let me go back to guard because I'll have to answer questions and be pegged as a druggie and I don't even go to that school anymore. I guess this is just another bump in the road. :)

Keep your head up and DO NOT overdose in the girls bathroom,
Ellie <3

I Got Wet N' A Little Too Wild

This is our new Wet N' Wild!

     My brother and I got Gold passes to the new Wet N' Wild that opened up about ten minutes from our house. This was our first time actually going and spending a good amount of time there. Before we got out of the car I said "you've heard about my episodes that kind of make me go crazy and forget who I am and sometimes pass out right?" He looked at me and said "Duh you get them once a month.. it's called your period." *connect palm to forehead multiple times here* "No, I'm talking about when I forget who I am and sometimes pass out. If this were to ever happen here. There is no need for paramedics, I just need to take my meds and me monitored until I know where I am, and you need to call mom, her phone number is on the back of my bracelet." Soo you mean we can't ride the water slide? *connect palm to forehead again*
    We were standing in line for a ride and I just felt "off" that off you can't quite explain but you know it's something. About ten minutes later we scream our way down the water slide and exit and I could feel my legs. I kid you not I could not feel my legs. I told my brother to go hop in the wave pool that I was going to go buy another water and run to the restroom and meet him back at the waves. Well, some people just don't understand the point of I'm about to pass out you need to get me help because this guy just stared at me blankly. I ordered a THREE DOLLAR water bottle WHO CHARGES THREE DOLLARS FOR WATER IN THE DESERT?!?! Anyway, I finally get it and ask where the first aid is? "Uhhhhhhhh I don't know this is my fist day here." Is the response I get. I walk over to another lady who has a lifeguard uniform on. I asked her... "It's just over there, make a left....... at this point everything is garbled. I asked her to walk with me. "I'm sorry, I'm on break." Was her response. This is ridiculous. When I finally make it there BY MYSELF the receptionist is sitting behind her desk and two metro officers are sitting in the only two chairs in the small room. I'm now holding myself up with the wall let me add. "I'm about to pass out, I don't need 911 I just need help and to sit." Both the metro just start freaking out like calm down sirs I'm sure this is not the worst thing you've seen all day. The receptionist lady takes me back to a different room which is finally the first aid room and they have me sit on the cot. Where they watch me take my meds. They then call the EMT for Wet N' Wild, they apparently have they're own which is good to know. He came in and checked my vitals, made sure I didn't have a brain injury (I didn't), asked me the normal questions who are you, do you know where you are, president's name, who are you with... and that's when I remembered my brother. "Ehh he'll be fine. And if you're really worried about him we can send one of those cops out to go grab him from the pool." He also asked me one last question. "You've told me this is migraines any other medical conditions I should know about.. I answered hypoglycemia." I don't know why I haven't had a major blood sugar problem in a good month just upper 50's low 60's are the worst. "Have you tested recently?" I shook my head. He escorted me back over to my stuff and had me grab my kit and then walked back with me to the first aid room. The all to familiar *beep beep* and then it happened, 37 flashed on the screen. I know the rescue meds I'm taking and the one I took at the park today caused my bg to drop a little but I've never seen it do something like that yet."Do you want me to get you something for that?" he asked hesitantly. "Do I have a choice" I asked more sarcastically than anything. He shook his head and chuckled. His supervisor came in later and told me jokingly I'd have to get my left leg surgically removed.. that kind of lightened the mood. They finally let me leave 20 minutes later with my bg back up at 84 and my migraine gone. I didn't see the EMT again, but I kept running into the supervisor and he kept pretending to be shocked I still had my left leg. -_- There really is no moral to this story. It's more of a wow, that was kinda scary more than anything story. My brother still thinks I was in the bathroom the entire 30 minutes I was gone, but I don't think he realizes it was 30 minutes. Just another day in the life I guess. :)

Keep your head up and just keep swimming,
Ellie <3

Epilepsy, Migraines, and Hypoglycemia OH MY!

     There was an abnormality. 

       I went back to the neurologist for my four week check in and to go over the results of the EEG and the MRI he ordered at our last visit. The MRI came back normal. But the EEG which is a continuous scan of the brain wave activity (I think) came back with the slightest of slightest abnormalities. Which means it's not just migraines. I have indeed have had seizures. He asked my mother to leave the room so he could talk to me and told me that this means I have indeed have had seizures before, but it's not the main cause of most of my symptoms. It's only causing the days where I black out and have absolutely no clue where I am. But, he was indeed going to put me on preventative medication that not only prevents migraines but some doctors use it to prevent seizures as well. HE BELIEVED ME! You see, I had an episode about two weeks ago where I don't remember anything and I woke up the next morning with a bruise, I kid you not, six inches long (I measured it) and I counted 4 other bruises on my back. That's not normal. He realized that. He did something about it. He also added another rescue medication on top of my other on which puts the count of medication to three. Topimax is my everyday, Imitrex is the better rescue medication, and fioricet is my back up rescue. I am now set. He wants to see me in six weeks to check in again and touch base but it's a start. I'm finally getting answers and it feels amazing. 

    

Withdrawing from my high school

     I've finally talked my parents into letting me do online school next year. It's half online by myself and half in a classroom setting. I'm actually really excited to do this my senior year. I never liked high school for some reason so I'm hoping this is a more positive experience. And I still get to participate in Color Guard with my current school. It's like a win-win all around!

Medical ID Bracelet 

     My school nurse talked me into getting one of these when the janitor found me in the hallway passed out for the second time this year. She said it didn't have to be elaborate or anything it just had to have basics. So I ordered one last Wednesday. Little did I realize I ordered it from a site in the UK so it should be getting here anytime now. It just has my name and my mom's cell number on the back and the medical symbol on the front. I figured that was enough right? 

Okay, that's all for now. I'm hoping to get back into the groove of posting often as the Summer is starting and I will hopefully have more time. 

Keep your head up and you can do this,

Ellie <3 

PS: This song is absotutely amazing! 

Soo.. I Met A Guy Today

   
     This is not about what you think. Okay, yea it does involve a guy, and it does involve us talking, but it doesn't involve us talking like THAT. As we all know from my Tagging experience before, I tend to end up in some interesting situations. Which was no different this time.
     My best friend Maddy and I were trying to find something to do out of the cold (well, cold for us I mean there's no blizzards here right now, but 42 degrees at 3 in the after noon is cold for Vegas.). Anyways, we decided to hit up Laser Tag. Maddy and I were buying our tickets when I noticed a bracelet on the guy's wrist. The logo looked familiar, but I couldn't get a good look at it so we went on and played our game. When we were paying for our second game I noticed the bracelet again, except this time I got a better glance at it. It was for the "You Can Do This Project". Which is an amazing project that you can find more about here. This website has been a HUGE inspiration to me from the very beginning and it was cool to see someone else who knew about it. I told him I liked his bracelet and that it was cool he supported it. He said thanks and handed us our tickets and then glanced back up at me. "Wait, how do you know about this?" He asked, I then told him how I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia about two and a half years ago and how blogging about it made me feel less alone and hopeless. He told me he was diagnosed with type one about eleven years ago and how he had felt that way before as well. We talked for a while and then he had to get back to work he gave me a fist bump (because high fives are so last year) and then we went our separate ways. I may be facing hypoglycemia alone, but there's a hole army of people out there who have my back, who knows what it's like, who are going through something similar and it was cool getting a chance to talk with him about what he goes through and how he manages to keep moving forward. I'm so thankful for the You Can Do This Project because it's connected me to someone who I would have otherwise never met. He encouraged me to keep my head up and made me feel less alone and hopeless, and I hope some day I can do the same for someone else just like me.

Keep your head up and never forget that You Can Do This,
Ellie <3

I've Never Seen It Happen To Anyone Else

I live in Nevada so we got Nevada Day off yesterday, and my church decided to take a youth trip to Six Flags in California. Our group took seven kids total and three adults. Our new Pastor came with us and when we were taking the little trolly up to the top of the hill at the park he looked over at my mother and the other chaperon and said just so you know I am Type One Diabetic and we may have to stop and eat more than once. He told them that he carried his meter and his pump, but he didn't want to bring any snacks into the park. He then listed the warning signs and said just get me juice and have me drink it. Now my mom has never really engaged in my hypoglycemia, she's just kinda let me take care of it and we never really spoke of it. That why when she said "oh my daughter has hypoglycemia" it kind of took me by shock. I let him know that I had plenty of juice boxes, granola bars, and fruit snacks to supply the both of us and he just needed to let me know when he needed one. Our groups split up and we went on our ways. It was so much fun, SUPER EXPENSIVE, but so much fun. At the end of the night we met back up at the front of the park so we could head out towards the cars. It was around 6:30 and I hadn't eaten dinner, but I had kept on the snacks. I tested my blood sugar and was surprised when a 36 stared me back. Then it hit me. We got in the car on our way to Taco Bell and I kinda lost it. There was crying, and panic attacks, and fruit snacks flying, and laughter at me from the back seat is was not fun at all. So when we got to Taco Bell my mom ordered my food and I found a table and put my head down. I could feel myself morphing back into a human being as I had already had 2 juice boxes and a fruit snack. And as I was eating our Pastor looked over at me and was like "You seem to be waking back up." And I was kinda like giving him a death stare, I didn't mean to, but it just kinda happened."I was 36, I now have 90 some odd carbs floating around in my body, I better be waking back up." His mouth dropped and he said "That's what it looks like to be low? I've never seen it happen to anybody else. I saw all the warning signs when we were walking back to the car I just didn't really think about it." It just surprised him and caught him off guard that, that's what a low looks like. He's probably been through it a million times we just never really see it happening to other people. I also realized I'm not alone. I wasn't there when it happened, but I guess he dropped at the park too.. There really isn't a moral to this story, it was just one of those day in the life kinda things. :) 

Keep your head up and have a safe Halloween,

Ellie <3 

The Art Of Going To The Store For One Thing And Coming Back With Four Other Things

"Moooooom I don't feel good." I said as I laid down with my cheek against the kitchen tile.
"What's your sugar?" She asked only half paying attention.
"Do I look like I care what my number is right now? I told you I don't feel good." I huffed laying my head back down.
"Go check, I think it might be useful." *unzip the ugly a$$ black pouch, slip strip into slot, poke finger, flinch because you hit a weird spot on your finger, wait for the five seconds to be up.* 66.

See that grey dot? Yes, that would be where I pricked today.. -_- 

"Mom I'm almost out of strips and I've got a lot going on this week." I huff again except this time while drinking juice.
"Maybe after you eat your dinner you can go get yourself some." She said half sarcastically. So after dinner I got my butt up to go get more strips from Target. I walk straight over to the pharmacy... I mean of course they were closed it's labor day, I really should have thought that one through. But, then I thought crossed my mind. I'll get some ice cream. So I walked to the back of the store and grabbed some ice cream, and then as I was walking back up to the front I remember "oh silly me I need a toothbrush because I acentically threw mine away this morning." So now I have ice cream and a tooth brush then just as I was about to check out I decided I needed an Itunes card because Fun. had a new song out that I NEEDED to get. So now I have ice cream, a tooth brush, an Itunes card, a pack of gum, and NO STRIPS!! Hmm I suck at being a one track minded person. This is why I don't go to Target with money.

Keep your head up and your tooth brushes OUT OF THE TRASHCAN,
Ellie <3

P.S I found this on Facebook today because Lord knows I'm not addicted to that.. I though I would share it with y'all because really it's quite funny.

Yup, you know you wanna smile now. :) Have a good short week everyone!!

Tagging On A Low

It's not something I tell people flat out. It doesn't come up in a normal conversation. It lives in my purse when I go out and only sees the light of day when my body decides it wants to. Medically I don't share this with a lot of people. I'm an idependent person who has trusted a few select people to know the details of what to do during a serious low blood sugar and then that was that. There's no walking up to people and being like "hey I have a medical condition blah blah blah." No. I keep it to myself unless I have to tell people. Like yesterday. My cousin had her birthday party at a place called laser quest. It was a laser tag birthday party and you can bet I dominated. I'm beast at laser tag and came out of the first round in 6th place. Or 2nd with the party I was with. One of our family friends and I are really competitive. He pesters me I pester right back. We get pretty serious when it comes to talking smack. Well after the first game I was shaky, dizzy, and really tired which just isn't normal for me. I walked out to the car to grab my purse and testing kit. I sat there in the sun drinking a juice box treating a 54. I walked back in and kinda gravitated towards the corner in a silent daze. Well the family friend came over to talk smack for the second game and my heart just wasn't in it. I sat there half playing along half concentrating on doing carb to blood sugar ratio math and half concentrating on not falling asleep. 15 minutes later I was being forced into a second laser match with out getting a chance to retest or take something fast acting with me. I was just thrown in. I teamed up with a little girl who has known me her entire life, but never knew about the whole blood sugar thing. She thought that when I sat down I was just resting because of the intensity of the game, not because I couldn't feel my feet. Finally 15 minutes was up and I was out at debriefing waiting for my crappy score. Minutes later we were singing happy birthday, and eating lunch and it got so hot and stuffy inside the party room that me and a couple other people went outside to eat on the curb and get a little fresh air. That's when it happened. The question. "Why aren't you fighting back." He asked me (the pestering one). I replied with my sarcastic "you were being mean" line. Then I said, "no actually I was at the point like I was feeling faint and dizzy and I really didn't want to talk to anybody at the time." Blank face. "I have hypoglycemia, my body produces to much insulin, or at least that's what they think, my blood sugar dropped low between games and I didn't really have a good chance to correct it." He understood. Somebody he worked with had diabetes, type one. He knew about low blood sugar and them having to treat lows, he didn't know I was in that state or he would have left me alone. He knew. That was a rare response to that type of conversation, but it was nice to know somebody didn't have to be 100% educated. They already knew. I probably should have told him earlier because there house is on my way to the bus stop and if I ever had an emergency that would be the closest place to go, but they know know. I'm fine and I still got a higher score at laser tag. Just goes to show tagging on a low is never good, but everything can still turn out okay.

Keep your head up and your lasers ready,
Ellie <3

Welcome To The Team

This is Herman. Well... that is not Herman, my Herman looks exactly like this, but he's tucked away nicely in my unicorn skull bag and will be resting there until midnight tonight when I pull him out to test again. I got him about a week ago from a fancy place called Walmart and got him all gussied up and had him meet the nurse and the doctor and all those fun people and then today got to test with him for the first time!! It was a beautiful 107. I LOOVE Hermin. He's skinny and one of my favorite colors, and he's everything a person who has to check their blood sugar would want. The only thing I don't like is the lancet he comes with, but there's an easy fix to that. I use my old lancet the Multiclix lancing device. I love that it has 6 needles in one drum and I never have to see the needles! I also don't like the case, but really who does? So that's it. I will be posting a vlog sometime soon to properly introduce my Herman. But until then I guess you'll just have to wait. :)

Keep your head up and your blood sugar in check,
Ellie <3

One Of The Benefits

Monday night at guard I was dropping low, I could feel it, but knowing there was three minutes left until a water break I pushed through it. When I tested at the water break it revealed a 57. I wasn't in the mood for a juice box so I grabbed a dollar and asked my instructor if I could walk to the vending machine. He sounded a little annoyed as this has happened many atimes and I just kind of ignored his attitude and moved forth in correcting my low. Well the next day I decided to talk to him about it and explain that as hard as I try to control it, I can't and there's only so much I can do. I walked up to him and said I felt like he was a little annoyed with me. And he came back really apologetic saying he was just "really worried as my face was super pale and my eyes were evidently really dilated." He also said he "understands I don't use it as an excuse and that I can always sit out if I feel the need." Cool. We were all on the same page now and I felt better knowing that I was never in trouble for my lows. Well, Thursday was a competition day. We were hosting it so him and a couple of us were hanging out in the gym. He asked me concerned about my blood sugar and I said it was fine. He was like "well I brought candy so you just have to let me know!" Well as we were warming up that o-so-usual feeling kicked in and I stepped out into the hallway. Alone, with out a bag, a juice, nothing. I don't know what I was planning on doing, but I was sweating and I couldn't really get a grip on what or where I was. Maddy soon came out with my test kit and sat down with me waiting to see the results. 63.

 That's what it felt like. (IDK what 1.1 translate to in mg/dl, but I know I was not THAT low.) As I sat in the hallway waiting for my juice box to be delivered the whole entire school flooded into the band hallway. One of the teachers sat down with me because I looked like I was about to pass out, my instructor walked in and like didn't say a word just ran for the starbursts he brought, my band teacher walked in and just shrugged and there I sat in the middle of it half confused half scared I wouldn't get it up in time to perform. My instructor tore around the corner with a giant bag of starbursts, that are evidently living at the bottom of his bag and are reserved just for me, with a worried look on his face saying I could take all the time I needed, and that this is why you should always become friends with the instructors. Everything turned out fine, I carried my emergency bag around with me every where just in case I had an impromptu low. It was just funny to think. Having your instructor always carry candy for you is just one of the benefits of being hypoglycemic. See were not all bad news...

Keep your head up and your competition face on,
Ellie <3

What a Day With NO LOWS Should Look Like:

It's oddly ironic how people expect me to let hypoglycemia define me and yet I can with stand it and have a perfectly normal day with absolutely no lows and finger sticks to prove it. This is my life hypoglycemia just lives in it. 

The world's cutest origami ear rings my best friend made me for Christmas!! 

Everyday should include GLITTER PROJECTS

This is my partner in crime. You'll be seeing a lot of her today. 

A glitterfull mess. The wind was breezy too so it made for a glittery backyard! AWESOME!! 

You know, I just like hanging out in cat hats. Pssh nothing unusual here. 

Just chillin eatin frozen yogurt in an icecream chair. No biggy. 

We enjoy tree/ raccoon hugging in this family. 

Totally relived my earlier days by building a fort. Who said I need juice boxes to feel like a kid?! 

You know I like eating cheeze nips out of an 11 year old cup. Nothin irregular bout that is there??

 Well, that was my day. Sid and I did just about everything you could possibly do in one day. Just goes to show all the nonbelievers out there we can have normal days. Finger sticks, and snacks are part of our normal, we can be amazing all on our own and defeat the odds.

Keep your head up and your glitter coming,
Love Ellie <3 from:

Yes I glittatized it!

The Chronicles Of My Walk Home

10:55- Bus Ride
I sit there listening to my Ipod a new song a just bought. I fight with every last effort I have to stay awake. I was sweating when it was 64 degrees outside. I sat shaking alone in the seat. Staring out at the cars that were not spinning around in circles. My mind was fuzzy, but my thoughts were still racing. I don't understand why people are staring at me. Why my breath is so labored.

11:00- One stop before mine
I pull out my meter for my routine check as we pull up to their stop. I shakily pull out my kit and open the bottle in which my test strips were laying. I slip it into the slot in the meter and try my best to subside the dizziness as I drop the blood onto the plastic. I succeed. 1 second turns into 3 and then 5 as the number pops onto the screen. 53. I should have known what was coming. I lazily pulled out my emergency juice box scared about the walk home in this state. I reach for the straw supposedly stuck to the side of the juice. It's gone. I search. The bottom of my bag, the sides of the boxes, everywhere. I gave up and threw the box back into my bag.

11:05- One last effort of search
I search for ANYTHING! Granola bar, smarties, ANYTHING. Nothing. I reach into grab my phone to tell my mom what was going on and I felt a wrapper. Hope. I picked up the wrapper. Flash back. I bought a ring pop because I wanted a treat to walk home with. I completely forgot about it. I rip the package and start licking it. I begin my trek home. 10 minute walk. I can do this. I know the route like the back of my hand. I stagger home like I'm drunk. I can't walk in a straight line. I continue licking. I'm walking on the road right now and I now for my safety I need to get onto the dirt path on the other side of the road. I don't look both ways. I just run. I continue walking. I come to a puddle. Covers the entire path up to the road and is three inches deep but only 6 inches wide.
"Jump Elizabeth Jump. It's a minor push off the ground land on the other side. Jump Elizabeth" I tell myself. I don't. I walk right through it.

11:10- home
There's still no sign of a rise when I reach my front door. I make my way to the freezer and take out a frozen dinner. I stuff it in the microwave. I call my mom trying to hide the panic.

11:35- writing to you
I'm now on the rise. I don't know what could have happened today or what would have happened, but it didn't. I came home safe. A few scratches and a soggy shoe, but I made it. All because I wanted a treat when I walk home. 75 cents later I'm still alive. I just want you guys to be ready for anything. Be a boy scout... be prepared. Maybe bring a straw or a smarties. What ever works for you. Just be prepared and stay safe.

Good luck on your last day of finals tomorrow!

Keep your head up and straws NOT LOST,
Ellie <3

Another Night In The Life Of Me

Let me set a scene for you. It's two o' clock in the morning and I hear a noise that could have been anything. I'm super hyper vigilant now and nothing is going to get me to go back to sleep. An overwhelming sense of dizziness washes over me and I've realized I'm only seeing out of my right eye. My heart is beating a mile a minute and my hands are shaky to no end. I decided it was a good time just to test the bg. I honestly didn't think anything was wrong it just seemed like a good plan. I pulled out my bag and poked my finger, FOUR TIMES, before I could get enough blood out. I slowly dropped the blood on the strip trying to subside the shaking that I thought was from the bad dream I just had. I waited the fives seconds and a number flashed on the screen. From my point of view it looked like an E6 which means epic fail dummy you didn't get enough blood. I was gonna throw the thing across the room when I looked back down at it. 26. Moments passed to minutes and I sat there dumbfounded. I was mad at my body for doing this when I was supposed to be sleeping, I was mad at myself that I didn't wake up sooner, I was mad at the meter for showing me a stupid 26. I got up and ate ritz bitz cheese and crackers and a juice box and sat there waiting praying for a quick and high rebounding number so I could go to sleep safely. At 2:30 I retested 77. I know I shouldn't have, but I went back to bed. I woke up low again this morning, but it wasn't that bad. I'm just happy I made it through the night. Just another night in the life of me. 

Keep your head up and your night time bg's up too,

Ellie <3 

P.S I blame the Just Dance 2 on the wii that we played for like two hours last night. I would normally eat a snack after we finished to keep me from plummeting like this, but I forgot. Soo thanks a lot Just Dance 2. 

Weekend Recap (Pics to come)

I was gone over the weekend to enjoy some fun filled family time in the middle of the desert. It was amazing I haven't been camping in sooo long it was so much fun to go hang out for a couple days. On Friday I got back out on the quads, didn't crash once super excited about that. :) I only had one epic fail of the weekend and it's one of those thank God I'm still alive kinda things which I will get back to in a moment. Today I also tested to get my drivers permit. I swear the DMV failed me because they want more money. Any ways I'll try again tomorrow and do amazingly awesome! 

As for my near death experience. For someone who goes through these often you may look at me with furrowed eye brows and call me crazy, but for me this is scary and I don't even remember it all. It started Sunday morning, I was out with a friend on a go cart and everything started to seem a little blurry and every jolt over a bump seemed to make my head spin and my toes tingle. I knew that feeling all to well. I had her rush back to camp and I set out to make a hot dog. As soon as I took it off the girl my uncle announced they were going on a jeep ride and I was welcome to come. I was dying to go so I grabbed my kit and my belt bag (a tiny little bag that straps to my belt, I keep 6 glucose tabs, a tootsie roll, and my emergency ID in there). We headed off. I ate the rest of my lunch in the car as we scaled hills and such in the jeep. About an hour later we stopped at a mountain. I was so excited I took off up the mountain. When I reached the top I started to notice the all to familiar tingliness, the dizziness, and my anxiety was so high I couldn't keep my grip against the rock. I went back to the car and tested. When it finally beeped I looked down at first I was seeing doubles it looked like an E6 at first and I was so mad, but my cousin came over and read it to me. I'll never forget the shakiness in her voice... "Umm that says 46. Is that okay?" I panicked. 46? I just ate a fricking hot dog how is this logically possible. I remember shakily eating 5 glucose tabs and a tootsie roll and focusing on not passing out which I so desperately wanted to do. Next thing I know I'm waking up in my bed in the trailer with an alarm going off that says retest your BG. What the heck happened was the first thing I thought of. I was scared on what happened. My mom came up and asked me if I was feeling better. My answer was "I guess so, I don't remember how I felt before, but I feel fine now." I told her I was hungry and she said I just ate 3/4 of another hot dog about a half hour ago, that I spilt ketchup all over me and that I started bawling. I don't remember any of that... like at all. Those are the moments that scare me. Those are the moments that make me want to scream. Those are the moments that remind me every second that I am blessed to be living.

Just one of the things I find oddly ironic one of the best weekends I've had in a long time and I don't even remember part of it. Sad huh?

Keep your head up and your memory intact,

Ellie <3   

Blank Stares, Explanations, and Hide-n-go-seek

Does anybody hide this whether it be hypoglycemia or diabetes or something completely random, do you hide it or do you openly admit it to the world and take on the questions full force? I test and correct in class, all my teachers are cool with it and don't make a big deal about it. But like yesterday I was testing in 3rd period. The kid to my left was like "YoU HAve DiabETeS?!" with eyes bugging out and everything. At that moment I wanted to crawl in a hole and wait for him to leave, but I couldn't. I explained my story and prepared myself for questions. His first was "and you have to poke yourself with a needle every day?" My answer was yes I do, three times a day sometimes more depending on some things. He looked at me blankly. "I could never do that." He said. This annoys me to no end, especially when he's like Mr. Captain of the football team and always acts all high and mighty. My answer was simply I haven't seen my mom since I left for school this morning. I want to live to see her again at the end of the day this is what I have to do to ensure that I do see her again. And I'm okay with that. He looked at  me once again with blank eyes. He did finally drop the subject, but I didn't want to. I wanted to make sure he understood that this is what I do everyday and that it's not my choice to poke myself three times a day and drink juice boxes like my life depends on it, but I will anyways because it's what I have to do. So do you hide it and kind of make people go look for it if they really want to know or am I just crazy to want to?

Oddly Ironic

This is what I named my blog for many reasons, but mostly because I find it oddly ironic that this would happen to me... My family was always telling me I ate to much sugar and that I need to cut back, but then this happens and everyone is suddenly telling me I need to eat more. People were always telling me the more sugar I ate the more of a chance I would get diabetes and that I need to be careful. Now I have something as close as you can get to diabetes and can evidently lead to Type 2 according to some people and I haven't had a chocolate bar in soooo long. When all this started happening I thought I could reverse it by eating healthier. It hasn't happened yet, but I lost a lot of weight and I feel better than when this whole thing started. I guess that's ironic too. Something horrible has done so many good things in my life. It's weird for me to think that I could have gotten so many positive things out of downing juice boxes and checking blood sugar. It just keeps me thinking what else can I do with this? I plan on signing up a team for the JDRF walk in Vegas on November 18th to help all my friends with diabetes and to just keep my head up, because it's easier to see where you're going with your head up in my opinion. So that's my rant today and the explanation for why Oddly Ironic. :)

Keep your head up,
Ellie <3